Wednesday 23 May 2012

How to Talk to Strangers

Posted to Facebook May 24
I was out for my jog the other day and passed a number of people along the way -- all different ages, all different focuses.  I gave a smile as I passed them by, but only a few responded.  For some a total avoidance of eye contact seemed to be their preference, for others a hesitant glance.  Out of a handful, only one responded with a smile and a hello.

Being an introvert myself I totally get the desire to have my own space and only engaging in inspired interactions.  However, this lack of connection between each other, in a city full of others, makes me think of one of the messages we teach, "Don't talk to strangers."  I understand the reasons we have taught this, however, I wonder if we are ready for a new message of 'how to talk to strangers.'

The message ‘don't talk to strangers’ can feel like avoidance, distrust, fear, disconnection from each other.  It can lean towards a more 'us against them' way of seeing things in a world where we are trying to learn how to get along with each other.  It can feel like we are professing 'guilty until proven innocent'.  It can speak more of win/lose rather than win/win.  It can feel more like a pulling a part from each other for a species that seems to naturally want to connect.

Perhaps if we taught each other how to talk to strangers we could have the best of both worlds.  Perhaps if we taught each other to trust how we feel when we interact with another, we would learn who we want to connect with and who we don't.  Perhaps if we learned how to feel more confident in our interactions with others of all ages, authority, education, and culture we would only agree to things that were in alignment with who we really are.  Perhaps if we taught that feeling good is natural, fear would feel so off to us that our natural reaction would be to run away freaking out when something didn't feel good.  Perhaps if we knew we were suppose to feel good and trust ourselves and confidently express ourselves, our "yeses" and "nos" would be so loud and clear no one would doubt them -- especially not us.  Perhaps if we knew how to talk to strangers, that stranger would no longer feel so strange.  Perhaps if we knew all these things about talking to strangers we would realize that most are just friends we haven't met yet.  Perhaps when I practice how to talk to strangers there no longer are any.

LOP is trusting myself as I interact with everyone.