New Year's Honesty

Posted to FaceBook Dec. 30
Well, it is that time of year again when talk of resolutions can spring up.  We all know that the success rates of resolutions are a bit iffy, so maybe we could try something else.  How about honesty?  I think my level of honesty with me has increased as I have increased my ability to LOP.  And I think my ability to LOP has increased as I have increased my level of honesty with me -- they go hand in hand. 

My degree of honesty with me unfolds gradually.  Being honest with me can be the hardest person to be honest with.  There may be things that I am not ready to be honest about yet.  It may be scary to be honest about some things.  It could even feel a bit like a house of cards.  If I tell myself the truth about something important to me, it might seem like I am pulling a card out from the bottom of the pile which would bring the rest of the cards crashing down.

Being honest about what is really important to me can be scary; but it is also relieving.  Being honest about what I truly enjoy could be embarrassing; but it is also so much fun.  Being honest about what I want to focus on in any moment could seem selfish; but it is oh so freeing.  Being honest about whom I want to spend my time with might seem rude; but it is really a gift to us both.  Being honest about what I am not good at could be seen as a weakness; but it actually frees me to be a genius at that which I excel.  Being honest about what inspires and calls me forward might feel unrealistic; but it is the path to my success.

So, perhaps this New Years Eve, take a moment of honesty.  What is really important to you -- honestly?  Where do you really want to be spending your time -- honestly?  When you let go of who you think you should be, who is left -- honestly.  And just know, whatever your answer is, it is enough.

Happy New Year!

The Day I Met WIRA

I was startled.  It was the last thing I had expected, which made it even more believable.  It was one of those moments that you can point to and say, "That is when things changed.  This is when I started to see things differently."  This was a beginning, although, in that moment, all I was experiencing was astonishment.

         

It was the end of the last century, and I had been journeying for a while.  I had read the books, I had taken the classes, even lead a number of them.  I had been doing a morning meditation for years, which I called connecting.  I knew I was looking for something; I had been my whole life.  Things had just never seemed quite right.  The answers most others were satisfied with were unfulfilling to me.  I couldn't bring myself to be happy with what others desired.  I felt alone at times, I felt weird at others, and yes, periodically, I even felt better than, maybe from a place of self preservation more than anything else.  There had just always been this feeling, this knowing, that there was more here for me than what I had been introduced to, and I had started to search at a very early age with very mixed results.  So, by no means was the experience this morning out of the blue.  There had been asking for decades.  And yet still I was surprised.

To read the rest of this article click on the link to my website and scroll down to the title: "The Two Of Me"  http://www3.telus.net/public/wolfcons/articles.html

Hooks

Posted to FaceBook Dec. 29th
I can be rolling along merrily, feeling pretty good, remembering who I really am, when what seems like out of nowhere (but it's not), someone says something, or something happens that doesn't feel good, and it drags me down/away from WIRA.  I refer to that as getting hooked.  Some story/belief/judgement I have about myself, or others, or the world, is not in alignment with WIRA, and by believing in it I have just yanked myself off my stage of LOP, like the ol' hook of vaudeville yanking the bad acts off stage.  Sometimes a hook feels subtle like, "Hmm, that feels a bit off."  And then sometimes they can feel like a dump truck has emptied its load on you.

Finding a hook may sound like a not good thing, but I don't believe that.  When I come across some story about life that I am telling myself that doesn't feel good and it is decreasing my experience of LOP, I feel it is a great opportunity to evolve/increase my experience of LOP.  The beauty of being hooked is that in the realization of what the story, belief, or judgement is, I can more easily identify its opposite, which will be what is really true for me.  When I have the opportunity to further clarify what is really true for me, I have just embraced WIRA a little bit more, which means I have evolved my experience of LOP a little bit more.  They are little gifts just waiting to be unwrapped.

Does that mean I go hunting for hooks, or that my life becomes about wading around in a sea of hooks?  No, they always appear at the Perfect time in the Perfect way.  If I have trouble understanding what the hook is, clarity will come with another example. 

With each hook I successfully unhook I get to know myself and others in a more unconditionally accepting, and joy filled light.  I relax easier, my trust in myself and where I am going increases, everything just makes a bit more sense.  And that feels good.

Marianne Williamson

"(The Course tells us that) 'we don't ask God for too much; in fact, we ask for too little.' "

A Return to Love, pg. 84.

Expectations

Posted to FaceBook Dec. 28th
Do people or things disappoint us, or is it our expectations of them that can disappoint?
If I have low or no expectations would I still end up being disappointed?
If I have high expectations, am I opening myself up to being hurt or disappointed and, therefore, is it better to protect oneself with low or no expectations?
Or, is there a way to hold a high vision of someone or something, and at the same time not dictate the specifics of how that needs to be in order for me to feel good about it?
Do I recognize the difference between habitual specifics and inspired specifics?
Am I ready to let go of the expected specifics to allow in the Perfection of the unexpected?

My ability to see someone (or a situation) as who they really are, and not get caught up in habitual expectations of how I think they should be, or how they have been before, is a never ending, always exploring, recognizing the difference between the two, part of practicing LOP.

Recouping by Not Worrying

(Written March 27, 2010)

I visited our new art gallery this week.  One of the exhibits was an audio with a surround sound of 40 or so speakers.  The written description provided before entering the exhibit implied that there were some darker, downward spiral aspects to it, but I still wanted to experience it because of my enjoyment of similar exhibits before.

As I sat with my eyes closed listening to the profound experience of an orchestra as it was played through this immense surround sound system, I caught myself leaving the magnificence of my now to worry, and supposedly prepare for the darker aspects I was informed were to come.  I caught myself in the midst of doing this and thought, “what a waste, to chose to focus on, and try and prepare myself for something that might be coming, and totally miss the beauty and enjoyment I was having in the present moment.”

Afterwards I wondered, how much do I do this?  How often do I leave this wonderful moment to worry about and try and protect and prepare myself for something that may or may not be coming in the future that I am concerned may not feel good?  Furthermore, I have just created the experience I was trying to avoid, by going through this preparation for a fall I might take onto the downward spiral.  What a mismanagement of my thoughts, time and focus.  I really want to be allowing each moment of joy to be its pure, enjoyable expression of bliss, untainted with worry about the supposedly impending fall.

And what if (as so often is) the supposedly impeding fall (that thing we worry about happening) never happens.  Those moments of pure bliss are gone . . . and for what?  Whatever preparation I thought I was doing to protect myself was a waste of my time and energy.  And really what kind of preparation do I think I am doing, or can achieve?  And by “protecting and preparing” myself so that the fall is not so painful, I am actually making myself a better match to it and, therefore, expecting it, which will just create an even bigger experience of it.

If I live each moment fully present in its beauty and perfection and allow the rare moments of downward spiral experience to be handled by my ability and confidence to refocus, how many more moments of being who I really am will I recoup?  If I am not protecting and preparing and worrying about the possible 'not wanted experience', how many more moments do I leave for my enjoyment of the wanted experiences?  I am thinking there are probably enough to tip the scale to allowing who I really am the majority of the time. 

What a life awaits without changing a thing, except being present and not worrying.

Celebration and Connection

Posted to FaceBook Dec. 26th
With all the extra fun, and activities, and celebrating, and memories, and changing of routines and schedules over the holiday season, my connection with who I really am (WIRA) can be different as well. 

As I have discovered, pursued, and deepened my practicing of LOP I have created some habits in my life that help support my connection with WIRA.  Holiday seasons, vacations, and travel can interrupt some of those habits that help me remember WIRA -- and that's O.K. too.  As I get better and better at LOP, that connection will be easier to maintain within the experiences of irregularities and changes.

So today I bless this season, and all that it brings,
I take moments that are connecting, by doing certain things.
I be present with who and what is in front of me now,
and I appreciate this opportunity to practice some 'hows'.

I remember the point, the purpose, is not just bling,
I feel the joy and the peace that the songs all sing.
And as I see the joy of the bird who knows not Christmas,
I am reassured that this freedom is forever within us.

Happy Boxing Day!