Last week we practiced remembering who we really are (WWRA) by paying attention to what we prefer. But I get it, it is one thing to identify a preference, it's a whole other thing to believe in and trust that preference. I too caught myself this week preferring one food but telling myself another is better for me, or wanting to do one thing but feeling obligated to do another. There is nothing wrong with feeling obligated, it's guidance that helps me clarify my preferences -- I just don't want to live in obligation.
As I was writing this summary of the Journal Part II, I realized it felt too big to try and do all in one post (the journal itself has 46 questions in Part II), so I am going to write it in two parts. This one is about noticing the difference between the upward and downward spiral, the next one will be about practicing the upward spiral. So here we go.
In LOP I talk a lot about being on either the downward or upward spirals of life. Most of us can probably relate to experiencing both of these. Being on the downward spiral feels like frustration, disappointment, exhaustion, doubt, or worry. The more I worry, the more I spiral down (my depression taught me that it doesn't matter how far down the spiral I go, I will never find WIRA). The upward spiral feels like relief, fun, curiosity, appreciation, creativity, or freedom. The more fun I have the more I spiral up. The reason a particular belief doesn't feel good/ is on the downward spiral, is because I am trying to make myself believe something that isn't true for me.
The cool thing about believing in ourselves is that if we just don't practice doubting who we are, by telling ourselves things that are not true, we naturally move in the direction of our preferences -- it is as natural as the flow of a river, we don't have to make it happen. The habit of believing in ourselves can become so solid that the things happening around us rarely trip us up. It's like if I called you a truck, you wouldn't even give it a second thought because you know it is not true.
So, here's what we will practice this week. Just catch yourself when you start to feel yourself heading down the downward spiral. It could be you are trying to make a decision that is not coming easily, or you are worrying about something, or you are feeling frustrated with someone. There are two common downward spiral habits that you might catch yourself in. One, you might be struggling between a belief of what you think you should do and another about what you prefer, or two you might be trying to be right or justify yourself about something.
When you catch yourself doing one of those things or just feeling a bit off, trust it, stop for a minute and ask yourself, "Honestly, what is it I prefer in this situation? What is true for me? What feels better and more on the upward spiral?" This can be another great time to jot down what's going on for you. Notice what tripped you up. What are you trying to make yourself believe that is just not feeling right? Having some notes will be helpful for next time when we begin to turn these beliefs around and move up the spiral towards WWRA.
Just like last time, I am not saying this is the time to make decisions, take action, or explain to others what you prefer. Just practice the habit of noticing when you are on the downward spiral and know that it is a good thing that you noticed it . . . it is helping you identify and believe in YOU.