John C. Maxwell wrote "Change is inevitable, growth is optional." Tony Robbins says, "Change is inevitable, progress is optional." Colin Wilson shared with us that, "change is inevitable, growth is intentional." These are great quotes, however, over the last couple of years, through the changes I have been experiencing, I realize that it is also true for me that change is inevitable and my suffering over those changes is optional. (I see that this quote has been attributed to numerous people like the Dalai Lama, M. Kathleen Casey, C. Carey Yang, Haruki Murakami, Sheng Ts'an, and mistakenly the Buddha).
The change part of these quotes is probably fairly easy to wrap our brains around. We see a baby grow into an adult, and the seed turn into a plant. We experience the speed and variety of the options that have come and gone from the blossoming of our technology. We see our planet continuously finding its balance as we explore our own. And, we witness the different perspectives new generations seem to embody as they join in on this journey. Over 2000 years ago Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, is quoted as saying "change is the only constant in life," so we can probably all agree that this is not a new idea. What perhaps has been the bigger question over the ages is how we deal with/handle/manage/control/regulate/find peace with those changes.
I believe the LOP perspective for experiencing change lies within our ability to not resist change, but to use it to better understand who we really are. Change can be judged as something new that I don't want, or something that I do want. Either way we are guaranteed that the new 'whatever' will bump up with some old beliefs that are going to want a revamping -- it is just a natural part of the evolution/progress/growth process. This updating is a wonderful thing because when I catch myself resisting something it is because I am believing something that is not in alignment with Who I Really AM (WIRA). The more I embrace WIRA the better I feel, the more joy I experience, the more "successful" I am -- it is LOP. When I don't update to be in alignment with WIRA I suffer. I suffer because I am fighting with myself, I am dishonoring myself, I am denying what is really important to me, I am acting ashamed of what I want. So, suffering is optional, because it is fully within my power to make the choice to align with WIRA.
Now I know that can seem easier said than done. Often when we find ourselves resisting change we are in the midst of being ready to update a belief that we may have had for a very long time and, overall, it has probably been very beneficial. We can get confused and feel doubt if something that has worked for so long is now being brought into question. But change is not about judging that what was believed before was wrong or bad, it is simply the indication that I am ready for more, to move on, to be more of WIRA -- and that's a good thing.
My teachers these last couple of years have been my parents. Through illness and death I have had the opportunity to look at perhaps some of the biggest changes we might resist. Not wanting someone to die, coming to terms with them being gone, dealing with "unwanted news" from doctors, witnessing changes in people, all have the potential of challenging numerous well loved beliefs about ones life. And although this experience for me, at times, would not necessarily have been called graceful, I am so appreciating the surrendering, the unconditional love, the peace, the freedom, and the trust, that I have opened up to, and aligned with. I so appreciate this journey of realizing more and more of that which we really are.
Thanks Mom and Dad for continuing to help me remember, believe in, and better express who I really am.
Change is inevitable -- Living On Purpose is optional.