The Benefit of a Knee-Jerk Reaction

They don't feel good, so what could be the benefit?  It gets my attention regarding something I really wanted to be paying attention to anyways.

Recently I had what I would call an intense knee-jerk reaction to an email I received.  Now this is not my first rodeo.  I have had plenty of knee-jerk reactions, and so you would think I would handle it smoothly.  Nope.  My immediate reaction was I wanted to blame/hold responsible the email's author for the way I felt.  And boy was I feeling it.  

But that's the good thing.  It really got my attention and when that happens I know I have a button, a hot spot, that I am wanting to let go.  Once I identified what was really going on for me, what it was pointing out to me, what I was believing about me and the other person, I realized I had unconsciously been feeling a low hum of those feelings for a while -- a program running in the background if you will.  And as I looked at it, I could see my part in it, I could see that it's tentacles were reaching out into many different areas of my life, and most importantly I got a real good dosage of clarity of what I wanted instead of continuing to carry/protect/be right about this button.  It was like WIRA was jumping up and down, waving it's arms, trying to get me to hear, "You are done with this.  Set it down.  Come this way."

Will I stumble over this belief again?  Very Likely.  
Will that be my last knee-jerk reaction?  No way!  
Could I have done all of this more gracefully?  Sure!  

So, maybe the next time I am in the midst of a knee-jerk reaction I could follow it with another knee-jerk reaction a little quicker.  I could remember that nothing wrong is going on, my guidance system is working perfectly, and then I can get on with clarifying what it is helping me to see and understand.

It took me over a week to get back to the upward spiral on this one (sometimes it has taken less, sometimes it has taken a lot longer), and as I sit here now my heart is full of appreciation.  The payoff is an even better view from the upward spiral, and I know it was time for me to hear that one and move on. 

LOP is paying attention to what is getting my attention.

Why I LOP

Posted to Facebook February 8th, 2023

The reason I go on and on about practicing LOP is because it saved my life.  I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, but that is how it feels.  Forty some years ago I felt I was suffocating to death because, as I now understand it, I had suppressed who I really was so deeply I couldn't breath.  I now see how if we sup-press who we really are (WWRA) long enough, we become de-pressed.

For many years I hid this whole story because it seemed that what was real for me was not believable for anyone else.  At first I didn't even think it was real because I was believing others more than me.  Then I started seeing pieces of a puzzle that felt real for me.  I felt desires that I knew were truly mine, that I had kept hidden away.  I saw pieces of who I really was.  But I was still too worried people would just brush it off as more of that stuff from that girl who had "problems".  

After a lot of time, a lot of questions, a lot of learning, a lot of practice, and a lot of baby steps in trusting ME, I find myself spending more and more time on this thing I call the upward spiral.  And for anyone who experiences deep downward spirals I wish I could just wrap you up in a dosage of the upward spiral so that you too could know what is possible, however, I know that's not the way it works, and it would rob you of the exact thing you are looking for  -- WYRA.  So instead, here I stand, doing my best to remember WIRA, so that when I am with you I can see WYRA, which I hope will help you believe in WYRA, and then when you are with others you will be able to see WTRA . . . and so on.  

Practicing the upward spiral is full of ups and downs, questions and answers, frustrations and "Ahhas." I speak of it not because I have it all figured out, but instead so that these kinds of conversations can be more common.  I know we have all had snippets of the beauty that is possible, but at times they can be challenging to hang on to.  And even though this is completely an inside job, I know it is easier to believe in the upward spiral when there are those outside of us that believe too.

LOP, because nothing less will do.