Thursday 14 February 2013

A Dream Versus A Goal

Posted to Facebook February 26th.
My whole life I have felt challenged around the concept of setting goals.  Not only do I feel they don't really work for me, I don't like how they feel.  With that said, the idea of having a dream does feel good to me.  So, what is the difference?  It's the essence.

When I use the word goal the essence behind it for me is one of "I have to" or "I should".   The way I grew up was if I said I was going to do something, it was set in stone, and come hell or high water, I had to make good on it.  Goals often ended up feeling suffocating, limiting, controlling, burdensome, and exhausting for me.  On the other hand dreams have the feeling of creativity, spontaneity, adventure, freedom, and there is permission to believe in ME.

Goals are often accompanied by dictated specifics like deadlines, measurable quantities, known outcomes.
Dreams are more general and allow the opening to answers that I may not yet know.
Goals seem to easily lose their initial appeal and end up feeling like work.
Dreams continue to fly with a momentum of their own.
Goals are easily used to judge myself negatively ("I'm not there yet.").
Dreams increase my appreciation for the experience. ("I'm so 'lucky' to be doing this.")
Goals can end up feeling like I am forcing something to happen.
Dreams feel like I am along on a great ride.
Goals feel like they are something I need to micro manage.
Dreams are something where I get to keep playing with the big picture.

Goals versus dreams; they are only words.  What matters is the essence I attribute to them.  One set of essences is mediocre, one is LOP.

An "Untethered Soul" Discussion -- Introduction

Posted to Facebook February 14th.
"This above all: to thine own self be true. . ."  William Shakespeare

Michael asks the question on page two, "Are the many aspects of my being all equally part of my 'self,' or is there only one of me -- and if so, which, where, how, and why?"

My answer:  I believe there is one authentic me; that's what I refer to as 'who I really am' (WIRA).  As a child I can remember specific instances when I said to myself, "I just want to be me."  It was a gut feeling that there was a ME I was wanting to be, and I knew I wasn't.  But I didn't really know who that ME was, or how to be it.  In addition, I didn't seem to be able to catch or recognize when I wasn't being ME.  And, at that time, I never even considered the question of who it was that knew there was a difference between me and ME?  I have spent the last forty years looking for answers to those questions and learning how to be ME. 

Over time I have become better at identifying when I am being me (an image I present to others for protection/acceptance), and when I am being ME (WIRA).  Every moment of every day is about being WIRA as best as I know how -- that's what I refer to as LOP.

What has been your experience in regards to Michael's question?