A Choice

The following is an excerpt from the book "Living On Purpose:  Life Beyond Mediocrity."

"The choice of being on the upward or downward spiral includes all situations, . . .  This does not mean that we are going to look for the upward spiral in the suffering . . . we do look for the upward spiral of the situation.

From the years of my adolescent depression, I could now focus on the misery and unhappiness I experienced.   I could focus on how ostracized I felt from friends.  I could focus on the immense frustration and agonizing knot in my stomach.  I could focus on the damage I created to home and belongings in outbursts of desperation.  Or, I could focus on the sensation of hopelessness, aloneness, and being a failure that permeated me.  I could focus on all the unjust times since then that I have needed to explain and defend my mental health.  And I could blame the world for not doing a better job of saving me from my suffering.

Or, from that same time in my life, I can now focus on the incredible thirst I have for understanding human beings -- how we are built and how we function.  And I can focus on the idea that because of my depression experience, I now posses an undying belief in each individual's incredibleness, and that we all have unique talents and abilities to contribute.  Also, there is the belief I have learned:  it does not matter how bad a situation looks, there is always an upward spiral.  I know my depression intensified my desire to live every moment fully and treasure them like gold.  And finally, there is the knowing that if I can survive that, I can do anything.  I am a very powerful person! 

One set of thoughts is an upward spiral, the other a downward one.  It is my choice on which I focus.  By focusing on one, it does not mean the other does not exist or I am denying it happened.  It does mean I am making a deliberate choice to keep my power in my hands, to stay out of self-defeating victim mentality and not haunt myself by returning to that time and replaying downward spiral thoughts.  We all find ourselves in situations that we don't want to be in.  However, the actual situations are not as abusive as we are when we replay the situation over and over in our minds."

LOP pages 80-81

Secrets

Posted to Facebook Apr. 7th.
We are all probably familiar with secrets being those things that we deliberately and consciously do not share with certain individuals.  But how about those things that we habitually and unconsciously do not share with certain individuals?

I have came to a place of peace in regards to not needing to assert/share my understanding about LOP with those in the world that are not interested.  I adopted a "answer only when asked" philosophy, and it became apparent that many were not really interested, because they were not asking.  Not 'bothering' to share became habitual -- big parts of my life were kept behind closed doors, not under lock and key, but only because many were not asking for them to be opened.  Is this a secret?  Is this LOP?

I am now realizing there is a fine line between "answer only when asked," and keeping secrets.  There is a fine line between not asserting ones beliefs, and still being who we really are (WWRA).  There is a fine line between being quiet because one is so use to not being asked who they really are, and becoming comfortable with hiding in the safety of not sharing who we really are.

LOP is not hiding, or secrets, or holding back in fear of judgement.  Nor is it trying to convince, or justify to, or be accepted by, those who see things differently.  LOP is expressing WIRA, from an essence of appreciation, unconditional acceptance, belief and trust in myself, and trust that others can handle it.

LOP is sharing and expressing WIRA, because there is no benefit to keeping my genius self a secret.

There's a Whole Lot o' Energy Goin' On

Posted to facebook Apr. 2nd
The "E=MC2" book that I am reading right now, got me curious as to how much energy I am.  So, I thought it would be fun (with the help of my husband) to figure it out .  (I know, I know, fun is in the eye of the beholder.)

So here is what I am understanding.  If we pour/pump energy into mass, at a rate faster than the speed of light, that energy turns into mass.  That means we can also take a unit of mass and figure out how much energy it would have, if we knew how to purely convert it into energy.  (The atomic bomb is an example of us knowing how to purely convert mass into energy.)

I am, based on my crude mathematics, 1,580,128,000,000,000,000 units of energy. 

Look around you.  Imagine the amount of energy that surrounds you right now.  There's a whole lot of energy going on.