Posted to Facebook June 15th, 2021
I know I go on and on about being on the upward spiral and I also know that sometimes that idea just feels too farfetched and way out there. So at times it is better to just aim for finding relief. The tripping point here can be how we interpret what 'relief' means. Relief is the release of the pressure from the heaviness of the downward spiral. From the words of the band Queen and David Bowie, "This is ourselves, under pressure." Many years after my depression I realized that when I put pressure on myself, that is to say I sup-press WIRA, I eventually and literally become de-pressed. So relief feels like the opening of the valve that is holding in the pressure.
We have a number of ways of trying to create relief, but many of them are not LOP. Most of them are more like hitting the pause button on the downward spiral and then just picking up again at the same place on the downward spiral. For example: we can drink to find relief; we blame to find relief; we can go on holidays and find some relief; we can go into micromanagement to temporarily create relief; we can avoid things and people to find relief; we can push through tough times to find relief; we can band together in groups to find relief; and we even sometimes choose to think less of ourselves to avoid conflict and find relief. None of these have a huge success rate at leading us to the upward spiral, because although we may have stopped adding to the pressure temporarily, we haven't really opened the valve to release the pressure. With that said, temporarily hitting the pause button on the downward spiral for a well needed break, can feel really good as well.
But you know what I am going to say don't you, LOP is more than just taking a break from the downward spiral (that's mediocrity), it's about being able to release the pressure enough that we begin to move towards the upward spiral. So how do I create a snippet of relief to get the ball rolling? Perhaps one of the easiest and most effective ways is to appreciate. Not a new concept. Many have written and spoken about it, but it may seem pretty airy fairy from where you stand at times -- so maybe we can tweak it a bit so it is more useful.
First, I am not meaning that you try and appreciate what you are worried or frustrated or overwhelmed about. I am not talking about only appreciating when our problems are solved and life is going smoothly. I am not talking about faking appreciation. I am not talking about thinking less of ourselves or beating ourselves up because we are not feeling appreciative. And, I am not talking about appreciating what others appreciate. I am meaning to truly find a thought . . . something . . . anything for which you have even a smidgeon of appreciation that can begin the relief. Start small or with simple things, with things you already have, with things that perhaps you take for granted, but when you spend a moment to focus on it you can see the value it has added to your life. And then use that to find something that creates a bit more relief and so on, and so on.
What you can honestly appreciate today will be unique to you and this moment, so the following is an example only. You are required to find your own appreciations to truly create relief. So, for today and right now, this is what I might say/write (remember, writing can be a good way to help you focus).
I appreciate that the solar system does what it does without any help from me and has done so long before I got here and will continue to do so long after I leave.
I appreciate that when my eyes opened this morning my heart was still pumping and I was still breathing. I appreciate I didn't worry about it and have to manage it all night and instead was able to get some sleep.
I appreciate my comfy bed, that water flows from my faucet when I turn it on, and that I have chairs with backs on them (can you tell I have recently returned from backpacking? LOL).
I appreciate that I get to have my morning granola and coffee. I appreciate that day after day I still look forward to and enjoy them both.
I appreciate that I have a body, and although it is not 'perfect', overall it serves me extremely well. I appreciate that there are so many more cells working really well than not well. I appreciate that they know what they are doing, and have been doing it my whole life.
I appreciate that all that I can do, or need to do today, is put one foot in front of the other. I appreciate that expecting anything more than that is ridiculous. I appreciate that I have places to go and things to do, but more importantly I appreciate I have a day of life to live.
I appreciate the sun that shines in my window and I appreciate the rain we have recently received too. I appreciate the balance and variety they create. I appreciate getting outside with the sun, and I appreciate staying inside and reading a book when it rains.
I appreciate the contrast from brown to green that spring provides, and that the trees are in full bloom. I appreciate hearing the singing of the birds, and I love it when I have an encounter with a coyote or dear or a woodpecker when I am out hiking.
I appreciate that I know what I do know, that I can do what I can do, and that I can love what I love, and that I have fond memories of so many of those things.
I appreciate that I have family and friends and things that I honestly enjoy. And I appreciate that I have found some things to appreciate, and that appreciating what is, is enough.
I am not saying those are going to be your words of appreciation to create relief, and I know that getting started can be the biggest step. But I also know with some deliberate focus there are things in your awareness you can find to appreciate and create some genuine, upward spiral producing relief. And I know with setting the intention of just finding a bit more relief, your day is going to feel better. And I know that this experience of feeling better has a momentum to it and that it will become apparent to you as you find small things to appreciate.
LOP is one moment of relief after another.