I was writing the word MARGARINE as a note to myself and I heard myself say to me, "Where am I rushing to?"
I could, once again, feel that energy of trying to rush through/get done whatever was in front of me so that I could get on to something else. It is that thing that takes me away from/robs me of my life, because my life is now.
So, what was I trying to rush on to?
Rush on to whatever is next?
Rush on to what I really want to be doing?
Rush on to what I perceive will be more fun/useful/important?
Rush just to appear busy?
Rush on to getting everything done because then I will be happy?
Rush on to getting everything handled so I can finally get to what I love and what is most important to me?
Rush on because I don't like now?
Rush on because it is a habit or it is what everyone else is doing?
Rush on because I am so use to trying to justify myself through what I do, and I think the more I rush the more I do?
Rush on because we are so use to thinking "over there" is better than here?
In all that rushing on I am missing now. And the only place I am ever going to feel the joy, the peace, the perfection, the completeness, the appreciation of my life is when I am with myself now. Those feelings don't just magically arrive once I find the mate, or the job, or retire, or get that car, or get my 'to-do' list done. Those milestones in life are all great, but if I don't know how to be present within this moment, those milestones will just be one more thing I rush through on my way to never getting there.
M A R G A R I N E. I was aware and present with the formation of each letter. I watched my hand as I printed it out. No better place to be . . . until, of course, I arrive at the next moment.
LOP is practicing N O W.