I have recently been reading the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (also the author of Eat, Pray, Love). It's an easy read where she gives us an inside look at her creative process. One aspect of Elizabeth's book reiterates a concept brought to our attention in 1987 by Susan Jeffers, in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, and that is don't let our fears get in the way of our creative expression. Overall, I agree with the concepts presented by Susan and Elizabeth and understand what they are encouraging us to do. However, as my clarity has increased, I think I would add to this catchy title to improve the accuracy of the concept.
When one initially says the phrase 'feel the fear and do it anyway' it would be easy to interpret it as meaning that we are just needing to go through our lives pushing through our fears. But, I have found that hanging out on the brink of fear all the time, or even occasionally, is not a joyful place to be, it is certainly not us presenting ourselves at our best, and it is not Living On Purpose (LOP).
I think a more complete phrase might be: feel the fear, LOP, and then do it, or don't do it (not as catchy, I know). So what's the difference?
Well, step one, feel the fear, means don't avoid, ignore, deny, or protect myself from this thing I am perceiving as fearful. I don't need to make laws about it, try and convince others of the wrongness of it, or invent contraptions to beat it down. I want to hear it, listen to it, catch it and recognize it as what it is -- guidance that is helping me understand that the way I am perceiving this fearful thing right now is not how Who I Really AM (WIRA) perceives it.
Step two, LOP, means take a moment to remember WIRA. Meditate, talk to someone who knows me, go for a jog, journal, watch an uplifting movie, affirm the beliefs I already know are WIRA. Do whatever it is I do that helps me remember ME. Once I have reconnected with WIRA I will be able to see the fearful belief in a new light and be better equipped to make a decision that is truly in alignment with what I want to experience.
Step three, do it anyway, or don't do it, means chances are once I have taken the time to LOP I will be able to 'do it anyway' with grace and ease and success, or it will become obvious that there is a better option on the table.
So here's an example. Let's say I am wanting to have a conversation with someone, however, I am really nervous about it.
Step one: O.K. I could just sweep this under the carpet and continue to ignore it, but I know this is bothering me because I keep thinking about it and I have been uncomfortable when I am around this person.
Step two: I sit down with my journal and ask myself honestly, "What are the fearful perceptions I am having about this?
'I am worried this person will be upset.'
'I often feel the need to defend myself around this person.'
'I hate having conflict, I would rather avoid it.'
Then I ask myself, "What are the perceptions that the confident part of me knows and believes about this situation?
'This is a conversation that can have value for both of us.'
'I am not needing to be right or defend myself, I am simply sharing what I am experiencing.'
'In all likelihood this person is also wanting to have this conversation.'
'I really do want us to find a mutually beneficial solution to this situation.'
I believe that by having this conversation we will both stand in a new, better place in regards to a number of things.'
Now here's the important part -- I know I am complete with step two when I mentally, emotionally, and physically EXPERIENCE A SHIFT around the situation. I am not ready for step three until I do.
Step three: Depending on the new perceptions that I now have, I may end up 'Doing it Anyway' by contacting the person and letting them know I would like to have a chat and find out when would be a good time for them. Or, I may end up realizing that this doesn't really have anything to do with that person and I 'Don't Do It.' The choice of action matters less. Seeing this from the perspective of WIRA matters most.
The following is a quote on this same subject, from a Source to which I owe much.
"There are those that say, if you do the uncomfortable thing long enough, it
will become comfortable. But we are really not encouragers of that. We are
encouragers of coming into alignment, and then taking the action. We are
encouragers always of getting rid of the fear; we would never want you to keep
doing things that you feel fearful about. And maybe the path of least resistance
is just not get on the horse. Maybe the path of least resistance is to get on a
different horse—but we would never move forward in fear."
--- Abraham Workshop Billings, MT Saturday, June
21st, 2003
LOP is feeling the fear, embracing it for the fantastic guidance that it is, and becoming an even clearer expression of my genius self.