I woke up the morning after my mom's death as I always did. In the same bed, about the same time. However, once I was fully awake the memory of what had happened the day before flooded back to me, and the realization hit that I now lived in a world without my mom, my friend, someone who had accepted me unconditionally. My head filled with the thought, "Now I have to somehow find a way to get used to her being gone -- to live without her", which felt like trying to move forward in life without my right arm. Immediately after that thought, and seemingly out of nowhere, came the thought, "No you don't. Why would you do that?" Instantaneously I felt a wave of relief flow over me and I knew that was what I wanted. Not to head down the road of grief and missing her and somehow coming to terms with the feeling that she was gone, but to head down the road of continuing the unconditional love that we had created and experienced while she was alive.
That morning I started a journey that took a couple years, that sometimes included a lot of tears, that required replacing beliefs that just weren't going to support this new direction, but I knew it was the only journey I could live with -- one I knew I could not, not do.
Numerous years later a friend asked me, "You must miss her a lot? You two were so close." Without hesitation I responded, "Actually I don't. The love in my heart is so real and strong, there is no missing going on."
LOP is trusting that the love that we feel is real. 💙