I had an "Ah ha" moment a couple weeks back as I was washing my car. I was trying out a new car wash due to a situation that had not felt good the last time I had visited my usual car wash. I had come to the realization that my usual place wasn't as picky as me. Their expectations, attention to detail, and definition of maintenance and repair were obviously different than mine. On my last visit I had tried to point out what I considered was not working, but for them it was within the realm of acceptable working order. I left frustrated that they had not acquiesced to my perception of acceptable working order.
Fast forward a week or two, I am visiting a different car wash. Upon my arrival I see signs indicating this car wash's expectations for using their facilities. When I entered and started the wash I saw more signs outlining their preferences. As I used the machines they operated at the level I had desired at my old location. I felt that the expectations of this facility were neither less than or more than my level of pickiness.
As I pulled away, (here comes the ah ha), I realized that I needn't concern myself with trying to change anyone else's degree of pickiness, I just want to allow myself to meet up with those that are at the same level of pickiness as me. I know, it doesn't seem to be a very dramatic realization, but it was paradigm altering.
I could feel the weight of needing to change anyone with a different degree of pickiness being lifted from my shoulders. I could see how I could release myself from judgement when I did not measure up to those who are pickier than I am. I could be completely happy and excited and supportive of my degree of pickiness. My preferences of pickiness are perfect for me and there are those that will match my degree of pickiness with whom I will have a really good time. And, there will be those that are different from my degree of pickiness that I will meet up with from time to time, and from whom I can acquire insight, new ideas, and inspiration, but I am not obligated to play in the same sand box.
But maybe most importantly, I realized that no one's degree of pickiness is wrong, which means I can stop spending my energy on trying to change anyone, measure up to others, or try to figure out the right degree of pickiness, and I can just get on with moving forward with the degree of pickiness that works for me. A real time, energy, and frustration saver.
If we look around us today, there are arguments flourishing about who's degree of "pickiness" is right. We are so concerned with getting everyone to agree on the same pickiness we don't really move forward. It's like trying to get everyone to agree on the same kind of music before anyone writes a song. We end up with no music, no creativity, and no opportunity for harmony.
So, maybe I will just head out today knowing that the degree of pickiness that feels right for me is absolutely perfect, and I will know it when I encounter those who are the same pickiness as me. And if I run into someone who is different I can just say, "I can appreciate your degree of pickiness, but I think I will keep looking. Thanks!
LOP is trusting my degree of pickiness and letting go of the rest.