A Choice

The following is an excerpt from the book "Living On Purpose:  Life Beyond Mediocrity."

"The choice of being on the upward or downward spiral includes all situations, . . .  This does not mean that we are going to look for the upward spiral in the suffering . . . we do look for the upward spiral of the situation.

From the years of my adolescent depression, I could now focus on the misery and unhappiness I experienced.   I could focus on how ostracized I felt from friends.  I could focus on the immense frustration and agonizing knot in my stomach.  I could focus on the damage I created to home and belongings in outbursts of desperation.  Or, I could focus on the sensation of hopelessness, aloneness, and being a failure that permeated me.  I could focus on all the unjust times since then that I have needed to explain and defend my mental health.  And I could blame the world for not doing a better job of saving me from my suffering.

Or, from that same time in my life, I can now focus on the incredible thirst I have for understanding human beings -- how we are built and how we function.  And I can focus on the idea that because of my depression experience, I now posses an undying belief in each individual's incredibleness, and that we all have unique talents and abilities to contribute.  Also, there is the belief I have learned:  it does not matter how bad a situation looks, there is always an upward spiral.  I know my depression intensified my desire to live every moment fully and treasure them like gold.  And finally, there is the knowing that if I can survive that, I can do anything.  I am a very powerful person! 

One set of thoughts is an upward spiral, the other a downward one.  It is my choice on which I focus.  By focusing on one, it does not mean the other does not exist or I am denying it happened.  It does mean I am making a deliberate choice to keep my power in my hands, to stay out of self-defeating victim mentality and not haunt myself by returning to that time and replaying downward spiral thoughts.  We all find ourselves in situations that we don't want to be in.  However, the actual situations are not as abusive as we are when we replay the situation over and over in our minds."

LOP pages 80-81