I had the chance to spend time with some like minded souls last night and have conversations of the heart -- one of my favourite things to do. One of the conversations we had turned into an "ah ha!" for me this morning -- another of my favourite things -- and it was around the concept of "being all in."
For me this idea of "being all in" is often about, and interpreted as, ones commitment to something. Perhaps the feeling of "full steam ahead" or "not being swayed" or "no turning back" comes to mind. I think "being all in" can also sometimes feel like: making something happen; moving forward no matter what; pushing ourselves to do things; committing to something even though we are fearful; taking action outside of our comfort zone; come hell or high water (not really sure where that saying comes from) persevering to the end; not allowing ourselves to deviate along the way that might change or clarify the original course; pushing ahead in the direction we have selected with tunnel vision; successfully achieving some image that we think we are suppose to be; or needing to immediately act on an inspiration, whether it is ready or not. Now, I don't believe the above is what was meant in our conversation last night, however, all of these possible interpretations help me clarify what I feel "being all in" is when I am Living On Purpose (LOP).
I believe being all in when I am LOP is about my perspective and trust in who I really am (WIRA), and not about what goals or actions I may feel I need to commit to.
I feel being all in is when my heart and mind are clear and confident with what is true for me. Sure, I may waiver periodically, but I can become better and better at finding my way back because of that strong basis of knowing WIRA.
Being all in is more about my commitment to, and the honouring of, my expression of WIRA in each moment, versus a certain objective I must reach some time in the future.
Being all in is finding that place of peace or knowing, as easily and frequently as I can, and for it to be a solid platform for all my actions (big and small), and all my words.
Being all in is brimming with faith in WIRA, the path I am on, and the things that will become a part of my path, whether I am clear on what they are right now or not.
Being all in is faith in the process, and therefore, not needing to make anything happen because I am open to the flow of life and the momentum I can sense behind the scenes.
Being all in is being confident enough to let go of the need to control, and instead relax into the ride.
Being all in is the experience of unquestioned faith in what feels right and good to me, which then in turn makes my choices and actions obvious for my next steps.
When I am remembering, believing in, and expressing who I really am, I am all in.
Living On Purpose (LOP) is remembering, believing in, and expressing who we really are. This blog is the sharing of the moment by moment experience of practicing Living On Purpose . . . because we all want to feel good.
Monday 14 November 2016
Monday 3 October 2016
Change is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional
John C. Maxwell wrote "Change is inevitable, growth is optional." Tony Robbins says, "Change is inevitable, progress is optional." Colin Wilson shared with us that, "change is inevitable, growth is intentional." These are great quotes, however, over the last couple of years, through the changes I have been experiencing, I realize that it is also true for me that change is inevitable and my suffering over those changes is optional. (I see that this quote has been attributed to numerous people like the Dalai Lama, M. Kathleen Casey, C. Carey Yang, Haruki Murakami, Sheng Ts'an, and mistakenly the Buddha).
The change part of these quotes is probably fairly easy to wrap our brains around. We see a baby grow into an adult, and the seed turn into a plant. We experience the speed and variety of the options that have come and gone from the blossoming of our technology. We see our planet continuously finding its balance as we explore our own. And, we witness the different perspectives new generations seem to embody as they join in on this journey. Over 2000 years ago Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, is quoted as saying "change is the only constant in life," so we can probably all agree that this is not a new idea. What perhaps has been the bigger question over the ages is how we deal with/handle/manage/control/regulate/find peace with those changes.
I believe the LOP perspective for experiencing change lies within our ability to not resist change, but to use it to better understand who we really are. Change can be judged as something new that I don't want, or something that I do want. Either way we are guaranteed that the new 'whatever' will bump up with some old beliefs that are going to want a revamping -- it is just a natural part of the evolution/progress/growth process. This updating is a wonderful thing because when I catch myself resisting something it is because I am believing something that is not in alignment with Who I Really AM (WIRA). The more I embrace WIRA the better I feel, the more joy I experience, the more "successful" I am -- it is LOP. When I don't update to be in alignment with WIRA I suffer. I suffer because I am fighting with myself, I am dishonoring myself, I am denying what is really important to me, I am acting ashamed of what I want. So, suffering is optional, because it is fully within my power to make the choice to align with WIRA.
Now I know that can seem easier said than done. Often when we find ourselves resisting change we are in the midst of being ready to update a belief that we may have had for a very long time and, overall, it has probably been very beneficial. We can get confused and feel doubt if something that has worked for so long is now being brought into question. But change is not about judging that what was believed before was wrong or bad, it is simply the indication that I am ready for more, to move on, to be more of WIRA -- and that's a good thing.
My teachers these last couple of years have been my parents. Through illness and death I have had the opportunity to look at perhaps some of the biggest changes we might resist. Not wanting someone to die, coming to terms with them being gone, dealing with "unwanted news" from doctors, witnessing changes in people, all have the potential of challenging numerous well loved beliefs about ones life. And although this experience for me, at times, would not necessarily have been called graceful, I am so appreciating the surrendering, the unconditional love, the peace, the freedom, and the trust, that I have opened up to, and aligned with. I so appreciate this journey of realizing more and more of that which we really are.
Thanks Mom and Dad for continuing to help me remember, believe in, and better express who I really am.
Change is inevitable -- Living On Purpose is optional.
The change part of these quotes is probably fairly easy to wrap our brains around. We see a baby grow into an adult, and the seed turn into a plant. We experience the speed and variety of the options that have come and gone from the blossoming of our technology. We see our planet continuously finding its balance as we explore our own. And, we witness the different perspectives new generations seem to embody as they join in on this journey. Over 2000 years ago Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, is quoted as saying "change is the only constant in life," so we can probably all agree that this is not a new idea. What perhaps has been the bigger question over the ages is how we deal with/handle/manage/control/regulate/find peace with those changes.
I believe the LOP perspective for experiencing change lies within our ability to not resist change, but to use it to better understand who we really are. Change can be judged as something new that I don't want, or something that I do want. Either way we are guaranteed that the new 'whatever' will bump up with some old beliefs that are going to want a revamping -- it is just a natural part of the evolution/progress/growth process. This updating is a wonderful thing because when I catch myself resisting something it is because I am believing something that is not in alignment with Who I Really AM (WIRA). The more I embrace WIRA the better I feel, the more joy I experience, the more "successful" I am -- it is LOP. When I don't update to be in alignment with WIRA I suffer. I suffer because I am fighting with myself, I am dishonoring myself, I am denying what is really important to me, I am acting ashamed of what I want. So, suffering is optional, because it is fully within my power to make the choice to align with WIRA.
Now I know that can seem easier said than done. Often when we find ourselves resisting change we are in the midst of being ready to update a belief that we may have had for a very long time and, overall, it has probably been very beneficial. We can get confused and feel doubt if something that has worked for so long is now being brought into question. But change is not about judging that what was believed before was wrong or bad, it is simply the indication that I am ready for more, to move on, to be more of WIRA -- and that's a good thing.
My teachers these last couple of years have been my parents. Through illness and death I have had the opportunity to look at perhaps some of the biggest changes we might resist. Not wanting someone to die, coming to terms with them being gone, dealing with "unwanted news" from doctors, witnessing changes in people, all have the potential of challenging numerous well loved beliefs about ones life. And although this experience for me, at times, would not necessarily have been called graceful, I am so appreciating the surrendering, the unconditional love, the peace, the freedom, and the trust, that I have opened up to, and aligned with. I so appreciate this journey of realizing more and more of that which we really are.
Thanks Mom and Dad for continuing to help me remember, believe in, and better express who I really am.
Change is inevitable -- Living On Purpose is optional.
Monday 19 September 2016
Coming Out of the Closet
A couple years ago I watched Ellen DeGeneres on Oprah's "Master Class" show share her experience of coming out on her 1990's TV series "Ellen".
Ellen's character was the first lead in an American TV series to share she was gay, and at that same time Ellen announced that she too was gay. The backlash that followed not only ended her TV show but it instigated "attacks" on her personally.
The feelings of heartbreak, confusion, guilt, lack of acceptance, shame, unworthiness that one could have going through such an experience is completely understandable. The courage it would take to decide to share a personal thing like sexual orientation, to stop the exhausting and shame filled hiding of who you really are, and to be strong enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of friends, family and fans, only then to be criticized, ostracized, and be so vehemently judged on the world stage, for me, is unimaginable.
However, as I sat and watched and listened to this show I thought to myself, "perhaps we are all in the same situation?" It could be to a lesser or different degree, but who of us does not have things about ourselves that we keep hidden from others for fear of loss of acceptance, shame, and possible judgement? How much energy do we use up each day managing some image of ourselves that we think we are needing to show others in order to measure up? How much more important do we make the acceptance from others than the acceptance of ourselves? How tall and invincible is our wall that we think keeps us protected from the judgement of others, but is really only holding us prisoner? How stressed, suffocated, exhausted, and unhappy have we become because we no longer stand up for, and honour, who we really are?
Thanks Ellen, for your actions all those years ago. I believe it was giving all of us permission to come out of the closet about who we really are, and that is LOP in spades.
Ellen's character was the first lead in an American TV series to share she was gay, and at that same time Ellen announced that she too was gay. The backlash that followed not only ended her TV show but it instigated "attacks" on her personally.
The feelings of heartbreak, confusion, guilt, lack of acceptance, shame, unworthiness that one could have going through such an experience is completely understandable. The courage it would take to decide to share a personal thing like sexual orientation, to stop the exhausting and shame filled hiding of who you really are, and to be strong enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of friends, family and fans, only then to be criticized, ostracized, and be so vehemently judged on the world stage, for me, is unimaginable.
However, as I sat and watched and listened to this show I thought to myself, "perhaps we are all in the same situation?" It could be to a lesser or different degree, but who of us does not have things about ourselves that we keep hidden from others for fear of loss of acceptance, shame, and possible judgement? How much energy do we use up each day managing some image of ourselves that we think we are needing to show others in order to measure up? How much more important do we make the acceptance from others than the acceptance of ourselves? How tall and invincible is our wall that we think keeps us protected from the judgement of others, but is really only holding us prisoner? How stressed, suffocated, exhausted, and unhappy have we become because we no longer stand up for, and honour, who we really are?
Thanks Ellen, for your actions all those years ago. I believe it was giving all of us permission to come out of the closet about who we really are, and that is LOP in spades.
Tuesday 21 June 2016
The Path of Least Resistance . . .
. . . is not the path of most avoidance.
It may seem like a small difference, a splitting of hairs, but it is the difference that we are looking for.
LOP is moving towards what I do want.
Happy Summer Solstice!
It may seem like a small difference, a splitting of hairs, but it is the difference that we are looking for.
LOP is moving towards what I do want.
Happy Summer Solstice!
Saturday 12 March 2016
Honoring Our Priorities
I recently received an invitation to do something I have happily done in the past. This time, however, I felt resistance, concern, obligation, and pressure, regarding saying yes, versus the excitement and enthusiasm I have usually felt.
As I considered saying yes I heard myself making excuses, becoming defensive, feeling irritable and finally becoming quite upset. As I witnessed my intense reaction I realized I was feeling all of those things because my priorities had changed. I knew this time it was not a priority for me, but I felt if I agreed to do it I would have to make it a priority (like I had happily done in the past).
Once I recognized I was trying to force myself to make something a priority that was truly not one, and I allowed myself to honor what my true priorities are, I was filled with an immense feeling of peace. I then realized I could easily say yes or no to the request because no matter what, I was going to honor the order of my priorities. So, I said "yes".
I have since come to the conclusion that the only time we have regrets in our lives is when we have not honored our true priorities. We can sometimes try and make other people's desires, earning a living doing a certain thing, or being a certain way to fit in, a priority, but forcing these priorities leads us to making decisions that are not in alignment with who we really are -- and that's how we end up on the downward spiral of regret.
LOP is taking the time to clarify and be honest with myself about what my true priorities are, and then be willing to honor them.
As I considered saying yes I heard myself making excuses, becoming defensive, feeling irritable and finally becoming quite upset. As I witnessed my intense reaction I realized I was feeling all of those things because my priorities had changed. I knew this time it was not a priority for me, but I felt if I agreed to do it I would have to make it a priority (like I had happily done in the past).
Once I recognized I was trying to force myself to make something a priority that was truly not one, and I allowed myself to honor what my true priorities are, I was filled with an immense feeling of peace. I then realized I could easily say yes or no to the request because no matter what, I was going to honor the order of my priorities. So, I said "yes".
I have since come to the conclusion that the only time we have regrets in our lives is when we have not honored our true priorities. We can sometimes try and make other people's desires, earning a living doing a certain thing, or being a certain way to fit in, a priority, but forcing these priorities leads us to making decisions that are not in alignment with who we really are -- and that's how we end up on the downward spiral of regret.
LOP is taking the time to clarify and be honest with myself about what my true priorities are, and then be willing to honor them.
Thursday 28 January 2016
Are You Ready?
Trooper strikes again! Here are the lyrics to their song 'Ready' from the 1979 'Hot Shots' album.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI8b0uScUnk
"I was down so long
Everything was goin' wrong
And the people all around me
Got the news
Lord and everything I tried
Fell to pieces and slowly died
My soul was going broke
From paying dues
I was very nearly beat
When I crawled back to my feet
Believing that a change
Was overdue
Now I'm pickin' up the pieces
And takin' out new leases
Gettin' ready for the things
I wanna do
And you know I'm ready
How tough is it gonna be
Are you ready
Don't keep asking me
If I'm ready, yea, yea
Leave it up to me
I'm ready as I'm gonna be
I'm ready finally
Lord I'm ready to make my way
Take it slowly from day to day
Take it easy on myself
As I roll along
Lord knows it's down to me
To write the melody
To sing my own words
To the song"
LOP is being ready.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI8b0uScUnk
"I was down so long
Everything was goin' wrong
And the people all around me
Got the news
Lord and everything I tried
Fell to pieces and slowly died
My soul was going broke
From paying dues
I was very nearly beat
When I crawled back to my feet
Believing that a change
Was overdue
Now I'm pickin' up the pieces
And takin' out new leases
Gettin' ready for the things
I wanna do
And you know I'm ready
How tough is it gonna be
Are you ready
Don't keep asking me
If I'm ready, yea, yea
Leave it up to me
I'm ready as I'm gonna be
I'm ready finally
Lord I'm ready to make my way
Take it slowly from day to day
Take it easy on myself
As I roll along
Lord knows it's down to me
To write the melody
To sing my own words
To the song"
LOP is being ready.
Friday 22 January 2016
Complaining and Confidence
Complaining and anger are the 'poor' man's power.
Confidence in who we honestly are is the power of the 'rich'.
Confidence in who we honestly are is the power of the 'rich'.
Friday 15 January 2016
Miracles Not Mediocrity
Happy New Year Everyone!
For all my life I have felt mediocrity is normal (hence the title to my 1998 book "Living On Purpose: Life Beyond Mediocrity), but not natural (who we are meant to be).
On the other hand, miracles, the experiences of:
Living On Purpose (LOP) is listening to, and trusting, the 'miracles' of life so that what is natural becomes more normal. (And I guess then we will no longer call them miracles : )
For all my life I have felt mediocrity is normal (hence the title to my 1998 book "Living On Purpose: Life Beyond Mediocrity), but not natural (who we are meant to be).
On the other hand, miracles, the experiences of:
- being in the flow of life;
- the unfolding of real success;
- expressing our genius self;
- following "the rhythm of our internal inspirations" (Abraham-Hicks);
- "the peace that passes understanding" (Philippians 4:7);
- having "peak experiences" (Maslow);
Living On Purpose (LOP) is listening to, and trusting, the 'miracles' of life so that what is natural becomes more normal. (And I guess then we will no longer call them miracles : )
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