As I have practiced Living On Purpose (LOP), and had the opportunity to listen to others practicing it in their lives, I have noticed that what often gets in our way is a lack of allowing ourselves to 'want what we want'. So often we may keep what we truly want a secret because of our fear of failing, or what others may think of us, or because of a fear that it is stupid, or that it won't work. But that is pretty much the definition of living a life of mediocrity. So maybe we could do some 'desire training' so that we work our way towards letting ourselves 'want what we want'?
A couple years ago I signed up with a group and a trainer to prepare for a half marathon. Now, I had never considered myself a long distant runner, nor had I ever done anything near that length, but I could feel it was something that I was excited about. What the training did was take me from a place where I physically couldn't jog 21 KM and mentally didn't believe I could, to where I physically and mentally could do both. So, couldn't desire training work the same?
When I started the training for the half marathon, my goal wasn't even to do a half marathon -- that felt too big. I had a smaller goal of doing a 10 KM race which felt quite comfortable. As we trained we were encouraged to do what we could do comfortably, so that we did not create any excess strain, injury or setbacks. We started with very believable distances and lengths of time that I looked forward to trying. We incrementally increased the distances and lengths of time each week slowly enough that there were no big jumps to make. It never turned into something I felt I should be doing, I remained eager about the process. We practiced three times a week to build a momentum of fitness. We did additional exercises that would support and facilitate the body to become better and better. As a group we had a common interest and we supported each other in succeeding. I just let go and trusted the trainer and did whatever was the next step in front of me. Sometimes the next step seemed a bit big, but as I followed through I always found I was able to comfortably do it (turns out my physicality was in better shape to accomplish these goals than my mentality). And perhaps what I was most surprised about, was the ease with which it unfolded.
If I apply those same aspects to training for a desire, so I can move in the direction of things that I may not mentally, physically, financially or emotionally be comfortable with right now, what would that look like?
-- I'd be honest with myself about the things that I really wanted.
-- I'd start off with a step that seemed comfortable, doable, just the right size, and fun.
-- I'd move forward in a way that I was not straining, pushing or scaring myself and creating
setbacks.
-- I'd pick next steps and inspirations that I was excited to try.
-- I'd incrementally and gently increase the breadth and depth of the exciting next steps so that
there were no big jumps to make.
-- I'd support myself by never turning the desire into something I should be doing by remembering
to always move forward eager about the process.
-- I'd allow myself time each day/week to create a momentum of excitement regarding the desire.
-- I'd do additional activities/hobbies/projects that would support the desire.
-- I'd find others who have similar desires so that we can support each other in succeeding.
-- I'd let go and trust my desire, and the inspirations I'd had regarding it, and the process as it
unfolded -- even when the next step felt a bit big.
-- And as I moved forward I'd appreciate the ease of the process.
If we want to run a half marathon, we don't just buy the running shoes and then force ourselves to go do it, we allow ourselves the opportunity to prepare and work up to it.
If I am LOP I don't just perfectly execute a brand new desire the moment it appears, I want to allow myself the fun journey of building the momentum of it. LOP is allowing myself to 'want what I want' and enjoy the training for my desire.
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