How to Talk to Strangers

Posted to Facebook May 24
I was out for my jog the other day and passed a number of people along the way -- all different ages, all different focuses.  I gave a smile as I passed them by, but only a few responded.  For some a total avoidance of eye contact seemed to be their preference, for others a hesitant glance.  Out of a handful, only one responded with a smile and a hello.

Being an introvert myself I totally get the desire to have my own space and only engaging in inspired interactions.  However, this lack of connection between each other, in a city full of others, makes me think of one of the messages we teach, "Don't talk to strangers."  I understand the reasons we have taught this, however, I wonder if we are ready for a new message of 'how to talk to strangers.'

The message ‘don't talk to strangers’ can feel like avoidance, distrust, fear, disconnection from each other.  It can lean towards a more 'us against them' way of seeing things in a world where we are trying to learn how to get along with each other.  It can feel like we are professing 'guilty until proven innocent'.  It can speak more of win/lose rather than win/win.  It can feel more like a pulling a part from each other for a species that seems to naturally want to connect.

Perhaps if we taught each other how to talk to strangers we could have the best of both worlds.  Perhaps if we taught each other to trust how we feel when we interact with another, we would learn who we want to connect with and who we don't.  Perhaps if we learned how to feel more confident in our interactions with others of all ages, authority, education, and culture we would only agree to things that were in alignment with who we really are.  Perhaps if we taught that feeling good is natural, fear would feel so off to us that our natural reaction would be to run away freaking out when something didn't feel good.  Perhaps if we knew we were suppose to feel good and trust ourselves and confidently express ourselves, our "yeses" and "nos" would be so loud and clear no one would doubt them -- especially not us.  Perhaps if we knew how to talk to strangers, that stranger would no longer feel so strange.  Perhaps if we knew all these things about talking to strangers we would realize that most are just friends we haven't met yet.  Perhaps when I practice how to talk to strangers there no longer are any.

LOP is trusting myself as I interact with everyone.

That's How I Know

As I worked on one of my projects yesterday my clarity of thought seemed to have compounding momentum; time slowed down; joy rose up.  I felt like every cell of my being was saying, "Yes, this is what we are suppose to be doing."
That's how I know when I am being who I really am.  That's LOP!

Hurry!

Posted to FaceBook May 15th
I received a bank statement the other day.  In its announcement section it was telling me to "Hurry, contest ends May 31, 2012." 

We can be so use to operating in the:
Hurry;
Push;
Be busy;
Rush;
I am going to miss out;
Opportunities are limited;
Stay in control;
I am going to be left out;
There is not enough to go around;
We have to talk people into things;
Urgency is how to motivate people;
We have to push to be successful'
way of being, messages like that feel normal.

LOP announcements would be more like:
"We are having so much fun here, and we are open to anyone who is wanting fun to come join in."
"We have this contest we have decided to do because we think it will be a lot of fun, and if you feel inspired to enter these are some of the things that you could win, which we are so excited to give away."
"We have decided to do this contest and there really are no ulterior motives of trying to get you to use your credit card more, or create a mailing list, because we believe in our business and know the value of what we do.  We just really wanted to share our appreciation of you, with you."

I know, "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."  John Lennon.

Essence Emanation

Posted to FaceBook May 17th
LOP is catching myself when I am believing that my emotions are reactionary to, instead of 'creationary' of, my physical reality.  LOP is deliberate emanation.

Assumptions

Posted to Facebook May 11th
Assumptions.  Our lives are based on them.  We make some assumptions because they are what we call the truth.  We have experienced them as true so many times we feel it is correct to believe them.  These include things like: the sun will rise tomorrow, the red light will eventually turn green; and when I throw a ball in the air it will come down.  These assumptions are most often correct and generally support us as we move through the moments of our days.

Then, there are assumptions we may think are the truth but are actually more of a habit.  If I have never done something before, I may assume I will not be able to do it now.  If someone yells at me I may assume it is because I have done something wrong.  Because I have not trusted myself in the past, I may assume others know my answers better than I do.  I may assume I need to justify myself by being right about everything.  Or, I may assume that if I work hard enough, and struggle, it will eventually pay off and I will be happy.  Although these are common assumptions are they, in general, supporting us as we move through the moments of our day?

If you ask around you will probably get a variety of opinions regarding which assumptions are true.  Following what you have believed in the past can be the safest way to proceed, which seems to be enough for many of us.  However, if we really want to be supporting ourselves, as best as we can, in being who we really are, listening to others and doing what we have done before are probably not the best options. 

LOP is about listening to me.  LOP is about paying attention to how my assumptions FEEL.  LOP is about finding those things that are in alignment with who I really am (WIRA), and I can always recognize them because they feel like they are on the upward spiral of life.  They feel hope-filled, or inspiring, or optimistic, or exciting, or peaceful, or easy, or I fill with appreciation at the pondering of them.

LOP is assuming the best assumptions are the ones that feel the best for me.

"I Can See Clearly Now"

Posted to Facebook May 8
Here is some fun I had with Johnny Nash's song "I Can See Clearly Now"

I can see clearly now, 'I resist no more.'
I see the obstacles 'I put' in my way.
Gone are the dark 'thoughts' that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day.

I'll make it now 'I know who I am.'
All of the 'should'ves and could'ves' have disappeared.
Here is the rainbow I've been 'asking' for.
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day.

Look all around there's nothing but blue sky.
Look straight ahead nothing but 'YOU and I.'

I can see clearly now, 'I resist no more.'
I see the obstacles 'I put' in my way.
Gone are the dark 'thoughts' that had me blind.
It's a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day.
It's a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day.
It's a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day.

What do I want to be right about?

Posted to Facebook April 30
I am currently involved in a project that includes contact with many members of the public.  This provides the opportunity for me to hear people sharing their different perceptions of the exact same experience.  At times they can be so opposing, so black and white, it would be easy for one to think they were talking about two completely different situations, but they are not, and both have no doubt they are right about the situation.

I know I have written about this before, but this experience is bringing it to light for me again.  'Reality' is made up of  what the atoms/molecules of our world are doing, and equally (if not more) the way they are being perceived and interpreted relative to our own lives.

We, as humans, spend large amounts of time and energy discussing, researching, discovering, arguing, justifying, and suing each other over what is true and right -- when maybe the real question is, "What do I want to be right about?"

Do I want to be right about being a victim, or about knowing how powerful I am?
Do I want to be right about how wrong people are, or that they are doing the best they know how?
Do I want to be right about worrying over things, or do I want to find the peace of mind that trust brings?
Do I want to be right about how terrible things are, or about all that goes so very right in every day?
Do I want to be right about all the things there are to fear, or about all the things to love?
Do I want to be right about those things that people do that irritate me, or about the peace I experience when I let go of the need to control everything.
Do I want to be right about those things that are making me feel bad, or the choice I have to feel good anyway?
Do I want to be right about how others see me, or what I know about who I really am?

LOP is asking myself, what do I really want to be 'right' about?

Believe What's Real

Posted to Facebook April 23rd.
We are taught to believe what is real, or true.  Now all we have to do is figure out what real is.

One night when I was very young, sleeping in the same room as my sister, I looked up into the darkness of the room and I saw bubbles and squigglies dancing in the air above me.  Never considering before that moment that anything I experienced might not be real, I blurted out to my sister, "I can see air!"  She, already knowing what the 'truth' of the world was, responded with certainty, "you can't see air."  "Oh," I thought to myself, "I could have sworn I saw something."  This is my first recollection of me not believing what was real for me.

I received an assignment in college to observe something and write about it.  On my bus ride home I watched a young couple interacting.  There was something obviously bothering them.  I wrote about what I perceived, and just intuitively knew was going on.  I received a good mark on the paper, along with the comment, "Well written, but you could not possibly know that all of this was going on for them by just observing."  It had not crossed my mind before that comment, that what I had witnessed was not accurate. 

My interpretation of both of those experiences had come from a place of absolute knowing.  It's that same knowing that tells you you are in love, to turn right instead of left, or to give a hug at that perfect moment -- you just know.  There had not been a shadow of a doubt, about either of them, until someone else doubted me.  In both situations I was basically told I could not trust what was real for me.  In both I had a decision to make -- who was I going to believe?  I stopped seeing air after that night; I have continued to trust what I feel is going on for others. 

Believing what is real for us is at the basis of us remembering who we really are.  Believing what is real for us is the secret to our geniusness.  Believing what is real for us is an act of unconditional love towards ourselves.  LOP is believing what's real for us.

Pretending

Posted to Facebook Apr. 20th.
We cannot benefit from who we really are (WWRA), we cannot be all that we were born to be, when we are pretending to be other than our genius selves.

Pretending can happen in the most innocent of ways.  We can agree with something when we believe differently.  We can do something when it feels not quite right.  We can buy something we don't really love.  We can do a partial job on something just to get it done.  And, we can attend things we feel obligated to attend.  Each one of these situations is an opportuniy to ask ourselves, "Who am I really in this situation?"

I know we do most of the above to be nice, to not offend, to fit in, to be helpful.  But if we could really begin to fathom how loving, uplifting, perfectly timed, and appropriate WWRA truly is, we would never again pretend to be nice, and fit in.

So if I am not pretending to be the way I think I am suppose to be -- how do I be?  Ahhhhh, now that's the perfect question for practicing LOP. 

Try spending a day not pretending.  No faking, no shoulding on yourself, no appeasing.  If you come across a situation that does not feel good/right, don't pretend your way through it, step back and say, "Oh, this is an opportunity for me to remember WIRA."  Take a moment to see if there is any response that immediately comes to mind that feels more genuine.  If not, postpone your comment, decision, action, response (if possible) until an ah-ha, a sense of clarity, has a chance to express itself.

LOP is giving WIRA a chance to express out into the world.

Hypersensitivity

Posted to Facebook Apr. 16th.
I recently stuck my nose into a book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.  In it she describes people who may experience any or all of the following: acute physical senses such as smell, taste, or touch; being deeply affected by other's moods and emotions; a need to withdraw from busy days and over stimulation; annoyance or overwhelm-ment when needing to do too many things; uncomfortableness with violent movies/TV shows; uncomfortableness with loud noises; a history of being called too sensitive or shy; an aversion to, or uncomfortableness with, changes in ones life.

In LOP I wrote about being hypersensitive.  It was what I experienced after my depression and when I was no longer choosing to be, as Pink Floyd calls it, 'comfortabley numb'.  I had probably been 'highly sensitive' my whole life but had never been taught what it was, or how to use it.  I had been taught by Western society that emotions and acute awareness were things to dull, ignore, control, stifle, and avoid. 

I have come to see that my sensitive emotions, and acute awareness, are actually a finely tuned guidance system helping me to discern who I really am (WIRA).  It no longer feels like hypersensitivity is an uncomfortable, unwanted thing, but a valuable, finely crafted, precisely set, Geiger counter that has the ability to guide me through life with immense skill and precision.

LOP is listening to what our hypersensitivity is helping us to know, and discover, about ourselves.