The Traps of Safety Nets

Safety nets.  We love them.  They feel safe, and we believe they will catch us when we fall.  A safety net could be a person -- a spouse, a parent, or a friend.  It could be a job, or a boss, or the company we work for.  We are advised to create safety nets that equate to piles of cash like bank accounts, RRSPs and insurance.  We ask our governments to make and take care of our safety nets so that we don't have to.  Safety nets can even be the belongings (house, vehicle, wardrobe) that we have worked hard to accumulate because they make the image, that we are trying to present to others, seem real.  And, safety nets can be our routines that suffocate verses nurture, the beliefs that are not in alignment with our desires, or the habits that have outgrown their usefulness.  I guess really, anything we are not comfortable letting go of when we know it is not working for us, could be a part of our safety nets.

We love safety nets because they help us feel secure.  We have become comfortable with them exactly as they are, and they help us relax and have faith in life.  We have built our future around them and we are relying on them being there so life can play out as we picture it.  They give us a sense of having a buffer if things go wrong.  We believe our mediocre okayness is propped up by their existence.

Now, I am not saying that LOP means you must eliminate all people and worldly goods, as some spiritual practices recommend (although, if that is what you are inspired to do, then that is LOP).  What I am saying is LOP is being aware of what our safety nets are, and understanding how we may be making them into more of a trap than a net.

One trap is that if our safety net should disappear we can lose our balance, fall down, or become confused about which direction to go.  A death, the loss of a job, a dip in the economy can understandably create immense changes in our lives, however, if we have the majority of our weight leaning on anything that disappears, we fall flat on our faces.

Another trap is that safety nets can become huge energy suckers.  Logically, if my okayness rests in the existence of this thing, I had better take care of it.  The energy we sometimes put into controlling and micro-managing something that we perceive as our safety net can end up being more life draining than if the net actually disappeared.

So, if not having safety nets means not putting our trust and faith, or all our eggs in the basket of something else, what does it mean?  Well, figuring that out is what LOP is about.  For me it is about remembering, trusting in, and expressing who I really am, but the answer for each of us will be tailor made for us.  All I know is finding that answer is where the freedom, unconditional love, and the innate success resides for us all. 

"General Hand Grenade" -- By Trooper

The following lyrics are from the chorus of Trooper's song "General Hand Grenade".  It's on my workout playlist and besides the snappy tune, the words remind me of why Living On Purpose (LOP) is important to me.

People gettin' high

People gettin' low

People gettin' nowhere

'cause they don't know where to go.

LOP is the peace, fun, foot-tapping enthusiasm of clarifying and knowing where I am going.
Hope you enjoy!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwtKTpfNevU

The Love's Prayer

A LOP version of "The Lord's Prayer":

Oh Unconditional Love,
may I remember the importance of You in my life.

I am willing to believe in You,
I am willing to trust in You,
here and now,
each moment of my day.

I know that as I follow Your guidance
I am given exactly what I require,
now and al-ways.

Therefore, I make the choice to let go of the conditional love
with which I perceive myself and others.

And when I forget You,
I know Your call will be there
to remind me of Who I Really Am.

For nothing is more powerful,
nothing is more constant,
nothing is more Me,
than You expressed through me.

For ever and ever.
Amen.

Hard Work

There is a common belief that there is no success, or happiness, in life without hard work.  I think this can be confusing because I can see that there are at least two different ways "hard work" might appear.

There is the "hard work" that perhaps is the first perception that comes to mind for most of us.  It usually involves: having to motivate ourselves to do something; a feeling of exhaustion; the overriding essence of needing to rush or push; a battle with procrastination; and the resentment of the work, or others, as we try to complete it.  The main joy from this hard work is when the work is done and it gives us a short-term-pop feeling of accomplishment.  It usually lies in the category of a should, in other words if we felt we had any choice in the matter we would probably be doing something else.  Our motivator for even bothering with it is usually money, or the acceptance from others, or fear of what might happen if we don't do it.

Then there is the "hard work" that I would consider the LOP definition.  It is when we are mesmerized by doing something that excites us, and we just can't seem to pull away from it because one great idea after another keeps flowing forth and we are eager to capture them all.  We can spend hours at something and we just feel more energized by it, and we are so focused and present with what we are doing our mind does not drift to regrets of the past or worries of the future.  We appreciate the end result but we also love the process that it involved.  The overriding essence is fun, or creativity, or passion.  Our motivator for doing it is usually an internal inspiration, a knowing feeling, the unstoppable oozing of who we really are wanting to express out into the world -- not necessarily to achieve anything, but just because it feels so good to express it.

Lou Tice described these two ways of being by comparing what a child can be like on a school day morning and on Christmas morning.  One full of resistance, procrastination and complaining and the other enthusiasm, energy and joy.

We may look at someone and think they are "working hard" when actually they are having a LOP Christmas morning.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Presenting and Underlying Beliefs

In my day to day practicing of Living On Purpose (LOP) I notice there are potentially two layers of beliefs operating at any moment -- the presenting and the underlying.

One is on the surface, one is often a bit hidden under the first.
One might tend to be more common, the other more rare.
One might be what people assume, the other might surprise them.
One might be very automatic, the other might take some digging to find.
One might be really safe to share with others, the other may get an unsupported response.
One probably does not require explanation or justification, the other may not be understood even after a really good explanation.
One might be what you hear everyone else saying, the other a secret in your heart.
One would be filled with how you think you should be, the other with what you want to be. 
One might feel ordinary, the other more on the adventurous side.
One might feel mediocre, the other holding the seeds of success.
One might be really boring, the other full of excitement.
One might be exhausting, the other invigorating.
One might feel like work, the other like play.
One might be who you present yourself to be, one might be who you know yourself to be.
One will probably allow you to fit in with the crowd, the other supports the genius that you are.
One might be living a habit, the other Living On Purpose.

Living On Purpose is sometimes digging a bit deeper to see what lies within.

Still Here, Still Living On Purpose

Posted to Facebook September 2
As I look at the date of my last post I see that almost two years have passed. Oddly enough that is not because there has been a lack of practicing Living On Purpose (LOP), but actually because I have been practicing like never before.

These months have been filled with opportunities.  The opportunity to practice LOP in new situations, and to take the time to be present with what was going on and not hide in the safety of busy-ness.  The opportunity to lighten my load by letting go of 'stuff' that had outgrown its usefulness, and to better understand what living unconditionally really means.  And, I have experienced clarification of my priorities for this phase of life.

During this time of moving forward sometimes I was graceful, more often I was clumsy. The great thing about practicing LOP is that it doesn't really matter -- both of those experiences lead us to better understanding who we really are. I wouldn't say that I would want to repeat the last couple of years, however, I wouldn't give them up either.

What worked? Well, being honest with myself about where I was (and I am talking about the potentially embarrassing, vulnerability producing kind of honesty), and more importantly being honest with myself with what I know I really desire.  Also, being honest with myself about what I have been believing, and being honest with myself about what I know is True for me.  And finally, being willing to let go of some control to discover the "safety net" that has always been there.

LOP is trusting, and then knowing, that nothing wrong is ever going on.

Really nice to be here.

An Untethered Soul Discussion -- Chapter Fifteen

I realized as I was reading chapter fifteen that I don't really know anyone that wants to be happy, not according to how Michael defines choosing happiness.  All of us say we want to be happy but we have "a deep-seated set of preferences" that we choose over and over again as more important than our happiness.  Really wanting to be happy is about letting go of the qualifying of our happiness. 
I want to be happy but my car isn't working. 
I want to be happy but I am 10 pounds overweight.
I want to be happy but my boss is a tyrant. 
I want to be happy but I had terrible childhood.
I want to be happy but I have had a string of bad luck.
I want to be happy but my spouse drives me crazy. 
I want to be happy but I don't have all the money I need to do all the things I want. 
I want to be happy but my kids are not making the choices I want them to make. 
Really wanting to be happy is choosing happiness in all conditions.

What is really cool about making the decision to be unconditionally happy is not that I will instantaneously be happy forever more, but that I will get to see/recognize what I am making more important than my own happiness.  What I am allowing to get in my way.  When we consciously see the reasons we are selling out on our own happiness, my bet is that nine times out of ten we will easily be able to let go of the reason for not being happy, and be able to find our happiness again.

Now this may seem ridiculous, to choose happiness when things appear to be going wrong.  What could possibly be the benefit of that?  Well, in Michael's words, "your heart will be so open and your spirit so free, that you will soar up to the heavens."  Choosing happiness even when there are justifications for not being happy is the key to "the peace that passeth all understanding," the freedom that generations of people have fought for, and the unconditional love upon which all religions have been based.

LOP is choosing joy over my set of preferences.

An Untethered Soul Discussion -- Chapter Fourteen

Since my last Untethered Soul post I have probably read chapter fourteen three times.  There is so much in it that I am enjoying, and each time I read it there seems to be yet another level of clarity for me.  However, for this moment in time here are some of the highlights for me.

On page 132 Michael talks about peace.  It reminds me of a realization I came upon a couple years back when people in my life saw me dancing around singing,"I'm a loser" (I think it is from an old Beatles tune).  Now that may not sound like a great break through, but it was.  It was representative of the freedom and peace I felt when I shed all cares about what others thought and said about me.  It was a complete embrace of exactly who I am without editing, pretending or justifying.  It was complete appreciation of myself with all blemishes, mistakes, and 'un-normal' aspects of me -- total peace . . . complete freedom.

What I heard on page 133 is that our power in life does not come from outer-directed control (trying to control everyone and everything), our place of power is inner-directed control (remembering Who I Really Am in every moment).  It may seem like a scary thing to do, to let go of controlling our outer world, but that is where my peace and freedom reside.

There is the saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  In this chapter what I got is, "Insanity is resisting what is."

And lastly, on page 135, what I heard is that the walls we build around ourselves, to protect us, are the very walls that become the prisons that we resist, resent, and for which we blame others.

The peace and freedom I hear Michael referring to in this chapter far surpasses that for which any other person may hold a key.  This peace and freedom is a gift from me to me and comes with wings un-clippable by anyone else.

When I LOP I know I am free -- that's what allows me to fly.

Well-Being Breaking Loose

I grew up believing that if I didn't control life and others, if I didn't resist what I didn't want, if I didn't work hard and justify myself, 'all hell would break loose'.  Very exhausting.

I now know that when I relax, when I open, when I let go, and allow life, 'all well-being breaks loose'.  Very freeing.

LOP is being free.