Chronic Joy

I heard the term "chronic satisfaction" (Abraham Hicks Publications) used today and it really got my attention.  I had to stop what I was doing and immediately look up a proper definition of the word chronic, and it said, "continuing or occurring again and again for a long time" (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).  

I realized this term really got my attention because I didn't remember ever hearing the word chronic being used to describe upward spiral experiences, only downward (chronic cough, chronic disease, chronic pain), so I started to imagine all of the upward spiral 'chronic' possibilities.

Chronic satisfaction

Chronic well-being

Chronic fun

Chronic expansion

Chronic adventure

Chronic curiosity

Chronic playing

Chronic peace

Chronic ease

Chronic creativity

Chronic appreciation and love

Chronic clarity

Chronic abundance

Chronic wonderful unfolding

Chronic perfection 

Chronic worthiness

Chronic joy

To not ever use this word in an upward spiral context seems very telling of how much we dwell on the downward spiral, and if I dwell there . . . it will be chronic.

LOP is chronically moving in the direction of who I really am (WIRA) on the upward spiral.  LOL

Appreciation and finding fault -- The views from the spectrum

In LOP I say that I can see something from the upward spiral or the downward spiral -- every subject is on an spectrum.    Every subject, person, situation can be seen from different places on the spectrum depending on my habit about that topic.  (Habits include my mood, my experience with the topic, what has happened immediately proceeding my focus on the topic, what my parents thought about that topic, what I have been taught about that topic, etc.)  And even if I am looking at the exact same thing the view I have from the upward spiral is completely different from the one on the downward spiral.

When I am perceiving something from the upward spiral I have access to the perspectives of appreciation regarding it, and when I am perceiving it from the downward spiral I am likely finding fault with it or complaining about it.  The benefit of this perspective regarding perspectives is it gives us choices, empowerment, freedom about whatever it is we are focusing on in the moment.

So, when you catch yourself appreciating something you know where you are, and vice versa if you catch yourself finding fault you know where you are.  The great thing is that most of these perceptions are non-updated habits, and it is relatively easy to do something about them when I allow myself to acknowledge that I am just operating from habit.

Creating a new habit can be as simple as being less judgmental about where you find yourself.  It can be celebrating and laughing about and being thankful that you have stumbled on a habit that you are ready to change.  It can be about acknowledging that nothing wrong is going on, that it is possible to appreciate this moment of resistance for the awareness it has provided.  This is not about fake appreciation, this is about honest to goodness heart warming appreciation.   It is about appreciating the perfection of our guidance system that is always, always, always keeping us on track.  Without our downward spiral moments we would not expand and grow and have adventures and see things in new ways and continue to feel alive and invent new things.

Now, here is a funny part.  Some of our habits can be very subtle and sneaky.  As you read this watch to see if you default to the habit of finding fault with yourself because you have caught yourself on the downward spiral, or finding fault with me because this idea is so crazy.  LOL!  Either way, LOP is about using my time on the downward spiral to create clarity that keeps me on track to spend more time on the upward spiral where my answers and joy and creations come from.  

You may be right, you have caught yourself on the downward spiral and you are facing the fact you are not perfect, but you still have the choice to appreciate yourself instead of judging and finding fault.  You may decide that this idea is too off the wall for you to join in on, but that still is no reason to drag yourself onto the downward spiral about how wrong it is.  My hope is to encourage you to practice appreciation versus finding fault because the habitual perceptions that you use to look at the world are the same ones you use to look at yourself -- and you deserve appreciation.  You are a beautiful, unique expression in this world and finding the upward spiral is your path to all of it.

I know, some are going to be tempted to bring up the worst, most horrible situations in our world in order to be right that it is impossible to be on the upward spiral in many situations, but I would say start on the easier habits, and just be aware how tempting it can be to find fault in order to protect our old habits.  And trust that the answers to those "horrible" things will come from you on the upward spiral not the downward.

LOP is appreciating . . . because that is WWRA.

"Protect Thy Self"

The last couple years I have been watching my unfolding realizations of how I have used, and still use, the habit of protection.  Why would I use beliefs and behaviors of protection?  To be safe from things I don't want.  A way to stay in control.

Initially I think I started practicing it to keep me safe from becoming depressed again -- I had promised myself I would never, ever let that happen.  Then as I began remembering who I really was I started using protection to hide the real me from others because I feared that they would not accept me (I had enough of that while I was depressed).  I went into protection mode because I didn't think others could hear or understand the things I was experiencing on the upward spiral, and they would think I was weird.  Then I started protecting myself from people and situations where I felt it was not possible, or very difficult, for me to stay on the upward spiral -- which is more of a statement about me and my ability than about someone or something else.  And finally, I have used protection to keep me safe from the imagined velocity I might experience if I just let go and allowed the momentum of who I really am to flow -- that has felt unbearably out of control.

So, here's the thing.  Through all of that, while I was thinking I was keeping myself safe and secure, the mindset of protection has also been getting in my way, holding me back from being who I really am -- which is what I've been after this whole time.  So, the very thing I have been doing to allow me to be more of WIRA is keeping me from being more of WIRA.  Crazy huh!  It can feel like a tug-of-war.  A part of me wanting to let go, be open, and flow, and another part wanting to stay safe and in control and accepted.  At one point in my life I described it as feeling like I was trying to hold back on the reins of a team of twelve horses . . .  it's exhausting, disappointing, and a lot of going nowhere because the natural energy of life is to move forward.

LOP is not about protection and control, it is about trusting, being open, and allowing the natural flow.

Where hit songs come from -- from Chris Martin, and Barry & Robin Gibb

The following are quotes from Chris Martin of Coldplay, and Barry and Robin Gibb, during interviews used in a documentary about the Bee Gees.

Chris:  "If you said to me, or anyone, 'Go and write a hit song right now,' they'd be able to craft something good, but it would probably be missing this magic that if you work in music long enough you understand is running everything.  Like surfers with waves.  Surfers don't make the waves.  Fisherman don't make the fish.  Song writers don't really write songs, you receive songs.

Music is this huge energy flying around everywhere and if you're lucky you get little slices of it that turn into songs."

Barry Gibb: "It's almost as if someone has already written the songs in the air and they're giving them to you." 
Robin Gibb:  "Like a radio transmission."

LOP is receiving your 'songs' on the upward spiral.

Peak Experiences

I recently stuck my nose back into Abraham Maslow's 'Peak Experience' writings.  I am not going to dictate the wealth of information out there on the subject into this post.  However, I am going to share the reminder that I got from re-reading his work -- he too believed in an upward spiral of life.

Now if living on the upward spiral is not important to you, not a priority, or you have no interest in it, that is all good.  Carry on.  But if something piques your interest about it (i.e. it may feel reassuring, or expanding, or exciting), it could be a whole lot of fun to see where that seed takes you.

I know not many talk about the upward spiral.  Most may not even really get the meaning of it.  But just because it is not normal does not make it any less real, or for me, natural. 

LOP is a life beyond what has probably felt like mediocrity; it is a life with the potential of peak experiences.

Procrastination

I am going to play around with the idea of appreciating procrastination instead of beating ourselves up about it.  As with all emotions procrastination is another way I am assisting myself to LOP; it is guiding me to more and more of who I really am (WIRA), so it is actually a really good thing.

If I am procrastinating about something it must mean I am on the downward spiral (I am making that assumption because I think most of us use, or relate to that word as something that doesn't feel good).  If I am on the downward spiral it must mean I am believing something about myself that is not true, because I am only on the downward spiral when I am not being (WIRA).  So, procrastination is actually a huge help to us because it is pointing out something I am believing about myself that is holding me back from what I really desire.  I am not procrastinating because I am lazy, or not worthy, or scared, I am procrastinating because I am not yet believing in my desires.  And trying to move forward while not believing in your desires is hard work, it would be easier to try and move a mountain.

So, the real answer when you catch yourself feeling like you are procrastinating, is not to push harder, it is to update whatever belief you are tripping over.  I promise you, as you discover what you are believing about yourself, compared to what is really true about WYRA, the procrastination will melt away and you will either easily move forward with what you were procrastinating about, or you will realize you didn't want to, or need to, be doing it in the first place.

LOP is appreciating procrastination for helping me believe Me.

"Moo!"

It was day one.  My first real job.  I was finally out in the real world ready to join the adult working class in a job like what my father had spent his life doing, and what I had been preparing for the last few years.  This is who I was going to be and everything seemed to be moving forward smoothly . . . and then I went for lunch.  

On the main flour of this huge government office building, at exactly the strike of noon, everyone arrived at the cafeteria for their allotted 30 minutes of refreshment.  I stepped off the elevator and looked up at the scene before me and all I could hear in my mind was the mooing of cows.  At first I let out a little giggle, and then the terror set in.  I said to myself, "Are you serious?  I can't do this for the rest of my life." 

It was an instantaneous moment of clarity and a turning point for me.  Shocking, crushing, but valuable.  And I want to take a moment here and accentuate the "for me" part of that sentence.  I know that for some these positions and lifestyles are a perfect fit, but for me it was a metaphorical slap in the face.  Here I thought I had made all the right decisions and done all the right things, and in that moment I felt like I was in a herd where, once again, I didn't belong.  

I know we have all had these moments.  Standing at the alter knowing you don't want to get married.  Pursuing a career that doesn't excite you.  Following the beliefs and actions of a group just so you belong somewhere.  Buying into the assumed "tried and true" goals of society.  Logic can be saying to you, "just go along with what everyone else is doing, it will be so much simpler, why make it more difficult for yourself?"  But there's a part of you that 'knows'.  These moments are oh-so-valuable.  Within them are the secrets to Who We Really Are.

LOP is trusting the knowing that we know. 

Love after Death

I woke up the morning after my mom's death as I always did.  In the same bed, about the same time.  However, once I was fully awake the memory of what had happened the day before flooded back to me, and the realization hit that I now lived in a world without my mom, my friend, someone who had accepted me unconditionally.  My head filled with the thought, "Now I have to somehow find a way to get used to her being gone -- to live without her", which felt like trying to move forward in life without my right arm.  Immediately after that thought, and seemingly out of nowhere, came the thought, "No you don't.  Why would you do that?"  Instantaneously I felt a wave of relief flow over me and I knew that was what I wanted.  Not to head down the road of grief and missing her and somehow coming to terms with the feeling that she was gone, but to head down the road of continuing the unconditional love that we had created and experienced while she was alive.

That morning I started a journey that took a couple years, that sometimes included a lot of tears, that required replacing beliefs that just weren't going to support this new direction, but I knew it was the only journey I could live with -- one I knew I could not, not do.

Numerous years later a friend asked me, "You must miss her a lot?  You two were so close."  Without hesitation I responded, "Actually I don't.  The love in my heart is so real and strong, there is no missing going on."

LOP is trusting that the love that we feel is real. 💙

The Benefit of a Knee-Jerk Reaction

They don't feel good, so what could be the benefit?  It gets my attention regarding something I really wanted to be paying attention to anyways.

Recently I had what I would call an intense knee-jerk reaction to an email I received.  Now this is not my first rodeo.  I have had plenty of knee-jerk reactions, and so you would think I would handle it smoothly.  Nope.  My immediate reaction was I wanted to blame/hold responsible the email's author for the way I felt.  And boy was I feeling it.  

But that's the good thing.  It really got my attention and when that happens I know I have a button, a hot spot, that I am wanting to let go.  Once I identified what was really going on for me, what it was pointing out to me, what I was believing about me and the other person, I realized I had unconsciously been feeling a low hum of those feelings for a while -- a program running in the background if you will.  And as I looked at it, I could see my part in it, I could see that it's tentacles were reaching out into many different areas of my life, and most importantly I got a real good dosage of clarity of what I wanted instead of continuing to carry/protect/be right about this button.  It was like WIRA was jumping up and down, waving it's arms, trying to get me to hear, "You are done with this.  Set it down.  Come this way."

Will I stumble over this belief again?  Very Likely.  
Will that be my last knee-jerk reaction?  No way!  
Could I have done all of this more gracefully?  Sure!  

So, maybe the next time I am in the midst of a knee-jerk reaction I could follow it with another knee-jerk reaction a little quicker.  I could remember that nothing wrong is going on, my guidance system is working perfectly, and then I can get on with clarifying what it is helping me to see and understand.

It took me over a week to get back to the upward spiral on this one (sometimes it has taken less, sometimes it has taken a lot longer), and as I sit here now my heart is full of appreciation.  The payoff is an even better view from the upward spiral, and I know it was time for me to hear that one and move on. 

LOP is paying attention to what is getting my attention.

Why I LOP

Posted to Facebook February 8th, 2023

The reason I go on and on about practicing LOP is because it saved my life.  I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, but that is how it feels.  Forty some years ago I felt I was suffocating to death because, as I now understand it, I had suppressed who I really was so deeply I couldn't breath.  I now see how if we sup-press who we really are (WWRA) long enough, we become de-pressed.

For many years I hid this whole story because it seemed that what was real for me was not believable for anyone else.  At first I didn't even think it was real because I was believing others more than me.  Then I started seeing pieces of a puzzle that felt real for me.  I felt desires that I knew were truly mine, that I had kept hidden away.  I saw pieces of who I really was.  But I was still too worried people would just brush it off as more of that stuff from that girl who had "problems".  

After a lot of time, a lot of questions, a lot of learning, a lot of practice, and a lot of baby steps in trusting ME, I find myself spending more and more time on this thing I call the upward spiral.  And for anyone who experiences deep downward spirals I wish I could just wrap you up in a dosage of the upward spiral so that you too could know what is possible, however, I know that's not the way it works, and it would rob you of the exact thing you are looking for  -- WYRA.  So instead, here I stand, doing my best to remember WIRA, so that when I am with you I can see WYRA, which I hope will help you believe in WYRA, and then when you are with others you will be able to see WTRA . . . and so on.  

Practicing the upward spiral is full of ups and downs, questions and answers, frustrations and "Ahhas." I speak of it not because I have it all figured out, but instead so that these kinds of conversations can be more common.  I know we have all had snippets of the beauty that is possible, but at times they can be challenging to hang on to.  And even though this is completely an inside job, I know it is easier to believe in the upward spiral when there are those outside of us that believe too.

LOP, because nothing less will do.