O.K., so that title may sound a little dramatic, but I believe it is valid and I use it for a reason. Since 9/11 our awareness of terrorism has been heightened and there are many that have taken it very seriously and taken numerous actions to do something about it. I feel that 'self' terrorism is more rampant and perhaps has even a larger impact on our world, however, we are barely conscious of it.
The self terrorism I am referring to is actually sloppy thinking. I realized some years post depression, that I had been a very sloppy, lazy thinker, and that I had beat myself up and scared myself into depression. What I mean by sloppy thinking is I would believe and repeat thoughts, over and over again, that were not true, healthy, or who I really am. I had the mental habits of: only seeing where I had fallen short in something; allowing myself to join in and focus on the bad news of the day; and letting whatever was in front of me to dictate my thoughts and feelings. In no way am I blaming myself, or others who find themselves experiencing depression, for their depression. Assistance in understanding sloppy thinking was not, and has not been the norm.
The great thing about realizing I am a sloppy thinker is I have 100% control over that. In every moment I can choose something that feels good and is in alignment with who I really am, or I can choose something that feels scary. When I choose something that feels good I trust myself, I am clear, I make good decisions, I am able to see my answers when they appear, I have an abundance of energy, I am able to love others for who they are, and others enjoy my presence. When I am fearful, I tend to be more numb, hesitant, I go through life with blinders on not able to appreciate others or opportunities along my path, I make poor decisions, have low energy, and in general I am not great to be around.
'Self terrorism' may seem like a 'terroristic' label to use but, like my depression, I wanted to get your attention. When it comes down to it, there is only one person who can scare you . . . and I know you would rather be happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment