Not Up For Debate

Posted to Facebook September 11th
It can be challenging for us to be willing to try new things, make changes in our lives, admit to things not going as we thought they should, share our inner truths, or be honest about how we really feel.  We can, without even knowing it, create our own little prison.  We lock ourselves inside these cells to be safe, but what price might we be paying?

Maybe we sometimes choose to lock ourselves in the walls of this safety because we have believed that our worthiness comes from being right, doing things correctly, being 'successful', not making mistakes, saying the right things, pleasing others, and being on top of everything at all times?  And maybe we think that if we play small we may actually have a fighting chance to be all of that, and therefore justify our worth?  Even if we could be all of that, all that it achieves at best, is being smaller than who we really are.

But what if I just swung that cell door wide open?  What if I believed my worthiness was not up for debate?  What if I believed it was innate, absolute, unshakable, infinite, God-given, and irrevocable by anyone or anything?  Would it then be okay to make mistakes, to be wrong, to try new things, to laugh at myself, and be open and honest?  Would I feel a little freer to be who I really am?

When I am LOP my worth just is.

Drop the Reins

Posted to Facebook September 7th.
I first noticed it a couple decades ago in an adult education program I was attending.  It was a feeling I could only metaphorically describe as holding the reins to a team of 12 horses that were ready to bolt.  My arms were exhausted and cramped, but I had to hang on tight to protect myself from losing control.

I came to interpret that feeling as me holding back in my life.  Why holding back?  Well, it is not unusual for us humans to learn to play it safe.  It is that protected, guarded, controlled, cautious, 'don't get going to fast', 'beware of the other shoe', 'if you get too happy it is just a farther distance to fall' essence that comes from fear, and keeps us smaller than who we really are.

I have recently revisited that essence/metaphor and recognize that I have still been holding the reins, however, now it is just a four horse team.  My arms have not been as tired, but I have still felt the need to keep the reins in my hands.

Today, as I sit with this team, I can feel that there is nothing to worry about or fear, they are not going to bolt.  And neither do I need to concern myself with them stopping, or becoming too lazy, where I would need to get out the whip.  I get that all is well here -- I can just drop the reins.

LOP is letting go of protecting myself and allowing me to be who I really am.

I Create My Own Reality

Posted to Facebook August 31st.    
There are a number of materials and teachers out there these days using the saying "I create my own reality." I know that with some situations we find ourselves in it can be fairly easy to take out the stick of guilt, shame, unworthiness, or doubt and beat ourselves up when we hear that. Telling myself I am responsible for this nasty person in my life, or this terrible financial situation, or this poor health just feels awful. The last thing that idea/philosophy or LOP is wanting to do is make someone be on the downward spiral, so its purpose must be something else.

Sometimes we interpret "I create my own reality" as something we have to get out there and work really hard at with action. We have to convince others, make laws, control situations, and protect and guard our homes, families and world. This interpretation of "I create my own reality" feels more empowering than the guilt and shame, however, it is exhausting, not usually very productive, limited in its creative ability, usually relies on others changing their behaviour, can take a long time, not to mention it is not fun, inspiring, exciting, and full of appreciation -- so it must not be what LOP is talking about either.

However, if "I create my own reality" is about the perception I choose about a given situation, it then is able to be a glimmer of hope. If I am willing to no longer be right about this thing I don't want, and allow myself to be right about what I do want, ahhh, that's the relief that it creates. At last, something that I actually can control and provides the possibility of reaching heights on the upward spiral that allow me to remember who I really am.

Yes, this too takes some 'work', but at least that work guarantees some returns, unlike the work of trying to change others. And the freedom that it promises is like no other. And although some situations may seem near impossible to find an upward spiral perception to, I know if Victor Frankl can do it in the Nazis concentration camps (see "Man's Search for Meaning"), we can do it in our lives.

And, interestingly enough, when I change my perception about something, I seem to rendezvous with evidence of it in all kinds of ways, because . . . I create my reality.

"The Untethered Soul"

I am currently reading "The Untethered Soul:  The Journey Beyond Yourself," by Michael A. Singer.  If you like the works of Byron Katie or Eckhart Tolle, Michael's work may be of interest to you. 

Michael helps us discover and focus on what Deepak Chopra calls, "the thinker behind the thoughts."  The thinker behind the thoughts is that peaceful, knowing part of us that is who we really are. 

In any moment I am either thinking beliefs that are who I really am (WIRA) or I am thinking beliefs that do not feel good, or are fearful.  When we are not remembering who we really are Michael suggests we ask ourselves, "What part of me is being disturbed by this?"  (I reworded it a bit and asked myself, "What disturbs me about __________?")  The Abraham-Hick's materials asks us, "What are we expecting?"  As I am aware of what I am believing/expecting that doesn't feel good, (things I would not consciously choose to be right about), I remember that is not WIRA and naturally reconnect with WIRA.

LOP is consciously remembering who I really am, and therefore, easily letting go of who I am not.

Bob Marley

Posted to Facebook August 29th
Some quotes by the Jamaican singer, composer, and guitarist Bob Marley (1945-1981).

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery.  None but ourselves can free our minds.” 

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"Life is one big road with lots of signs.  So when you're riding through ruts, don't complicate your mind.  Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy.  Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality.  Wake up and Live!

Action

Posted to Facebook August 24th.
As with all things, I can take action from the upward or downward spiral; my 'success' with the action is not really about the action itself.  If I take some action from the downward spiral, I am continuing to head in the direction of what I don't want.  If I take action from being on the upward spiral, then I am continuing to head in the direction of more of what I do want.  Therefore, I have found the 'trick' is knowing from which direction I am taking that particular action.

A question that sometimes helps me sort out which spiral I am taking the action from is, "Am I like an empty cup trying to fill myself up, or am I full and this action is just me naturally spilling out into the world?" 

If I am taking a job, getting into a relationship, doing chores, raising children, spending money, or doing social activities from a place of trying to feel better about myself, accomplish things, not feeling free or loved, then I am trying to fill my partially full cup.

If I am choosing to clean the house, go for a workout, invite someone over, invest in something, pursue a particular career, or play with the dog from a place of "I am so excited about doing this.  I cannot wait to do this," then I am probably full and this is me naturally spilling out into the world.

LOP is knowing that taking action is not about trying to make myself feel better, it is about the things I choose to do from a better feeling place.

Be Sensible

Posted to Facebook August 22nd.
My depression taught me that sometimes I can be a sloppy thinker, which is not very sensible.

I would not deliberately stub my toe, and say "Oww, that feels awful, let me do it again."  That doesn't make sense.  I would just stop stubbing my toe. 

And yet, sometimes I choose to hit myself over and over again with thoughts that don't feel good.  That is not sensible.

LOP is about being sensible by being kinder to myself.

Momentum

Posted to Facebook Aug. 17th
Momentum is happening on the upward and downward spiral; individually and shared.

One day, during my numerous hours of watching the Olympics, a story came out that a man, assumedly frustrated about something, tossed a bottle on the track right at the beginning of the men's 100 meter race.  A female wrestler who was in the audience just a few seats behind was apparently angry/frustrated by his actions (joining the momentum) and tackled him.  As the announcer is telling this story he is getting irate at spectators behaving in such a manner and condones the tackling of the spectator (joins the momentum).  I, listening to the announcer condoning violence, get frustrated that he, being in a public position like that, would express an opinion like that.  "Doesn't he know he is just continuing the momentum of the violence?"  And yup, you guessed it, with that I became the fourth stage of sharing the momentum of frustration.  Around the world in seconds, sharing the downward sprial.

LOP is being picky about which momentums I join.

Listen to the Essence

Posted to Facebook August 15th
Every sentence, every word we speak, can come from either an upward or downward spiral feeling.  So, LOP is not just about picking nice words, it is about the feeling or 'spirit of intent'* that is behind them.  We are not just listening to each others words we are listening to their essence.

The word 'love' can feel controlling or unconditional.
The word 'vulnerable' can feel weak or open.
The word 'hope' can be filled with worry or belief.
The word 'great' can be full of sarcasm or enthusiasm.
The word 'surrender' can feel like giving up or letting go/forgiving.
The word 'busy' can describe being stressed or focused.
The word 'jealous' can feel resentful or admiring/appreciative.
The words 'time/money/energy' can primarily feel lack-filled or abundant.
The word 'control' can feel suffocating or clear.
The word 'humble' can feel like unworthiness or a quiet strength.
The word 'independant' can feel defiant or able.
The word 'try' can be full of doubt or adventure.
The word 'effort' can be about forcing something to happen or ready to take on a challenge.
The word 'compassion' can feel like pity or believing in who someone really is.
The word 'help' can feel like obligation or fun.
The word 'believe' can feel like doubt or knowing.
The word 'allowing' can feel like being a door mat or like freedom.
The word 'change' can be fuelled by resentment or excitement.
The word 'work' can feel like imprisonment or creative expression.
The name 'God' can feel demanding or accepting.
The word 'genius' can feel like an obligation or a natural unfolding.
LOP can feel like a chore or a breath of fresh air.

*The phrase 'spirit of intent' is taken from Lou Tice's programs at The Pacific Institute.

'Enough' Rides Again

Knowing things are enough is not a settling for what is, it is a peace with what is so I can recognize and allow the naturally occurring 'more' of life to materialize. (See February 13th's post for more.)

I am enough.
This moment is enough.
There are enough sunrises and sunsets.
There is enough air for me to breath.
There is enough beauty.
There is enough to choose from, and not making a choice is enough.
The orbiting of all the planets in all the galaxies is enough.
This tree is enough.
The bird in this tree is enough.
I have enough questions.
I have enough answers.
I know enough.
I have enough smiles and compliments to last a life time.
There is enough variety.
That moment of laughter and joy is enough.
All that I have done in my life is enough.
All that you have done in your life is enough.
Where we are as a species is enough.
Me sitting quietly with my knowing is enough.
Waiting for my inspiration is enough.
Loving you just exactly as you are is enough.
Trusting what you choose is enough.
Trusting each step that I choose is enough.
Liking what I like is enough.
Being who I really am is enough.
Peace, knowing, and appreciation is enough.
LOP is enough.