An Untethered Soul Discussion -- Chapter Two

Posted to Facebook March 1st.
This chapter is about my inner roommate.  Blah, blah, blah.  Chatter, chatter, chatter.  It can fill up a whole day and then I look back and wonder, "where did the day go?"

What I got from this chapter is that Michael wants us to realize that the part of us that is doing all the chattering is not who we really are (WWRA).  On page 15 he suggests that when we are feeling disturbed about something to ask ourselves "What part of me is being disturbed by this?  By doing this I can practice recognizing that the disturbed part of me is actually that part we often refer to as things like our ego, or the personality, or the habitual, or the human doing part of me.  It is not WIRA.

Once I've remembered that the part of me that is disturbed is not WIRA, it has felt good for me to then ask myself, "What belief is disturbing me about this?" I found that my answer to this question would add even more clarity to the knowing that this disturbance is not WIRA.

Example:  "Oh shoot, I am going to be late.  I let that phone call/conversation/work on the computer/workout go on to long.  I hate being late.  What are they going to think?  This is going to put me behind on my schedule for the rest of the day.  I never have enough time." 
1.  What part of me is being disturbed by this?  Well, it is that very small part of me that can become consumed with what is going on in this moment, in my little world.   It's that small me that gets out of balance with the big ME that knows the sun comes back every morning, the seeds for the plants continue to appear, and that water continues to flow downhill, all without me controlling any of it.
2.  What belief is disturbing me about this?  I hate rushing.  I hate pushing.  I hate not being in control.  When I am not in control I am vulnerable, unprotected. 
3.  What does WIRA know?  WIRA knows I don't need to rush or push.  WIRA knows that remaining calm is how I best arrive on time, and if I don't arrive on time, a simple apology is all that is needed.  WIRA knows that there was no maliciousness or ulterior motive or disrespect in my lateness.  WIRA knows it is an innocent bleep in the schedule and that there is an unfolding here that I will probably never really comprehend in its fullest.  If I want a sense of control in my life WIRA knows I do not do that by trying to control all of the outside circumstances, but by my response to them.  WIRA knows that there is nothing from which I need to protect myself; my invincibility comes from my 'vulnerability'.

Ahhh, that has soothed/quieted/stopped the resistance of the inner roommate.

What part of this chapter stood out or had value for you?

The Camel and the Needle

The other day I was attempting to get a lot of things done; get them off my 'to do' list.  Now, you'd think I'd know better than that by now, since I go on and on about Living On Purpose.  But sometimes it is just so tempting to fill myself up by trying to accomplish a lot of things.  Well, it didn't go very well.  By the end of the day I was tired and frustrated because everything I had attempted to 'get done' had seemingly backfired -- sound familiar?  I threw my hands up in exasperation and said, "I can't make anything happen!"  Then a voice, and a chuckle from within said, "Ahh, you said it yourself."

I can't make anything happen, I can only allow them to happen.  When I am making them happen I am forcing, controlling, worrying about, being right about things in order to get'em done.  I may get away with this mediocre method of creating in my life for a while, but eventually it will lead to exhaustion and probably giving up. 

As I heard myself say, "I can't make anything happen," the biblical reference, "it's like trying to get a camel through the eye of a needle" flashed through my head.  In this story a rich young man wants to know what he needs to do to obtain eternal life, and Jesus instructs him to follow the commandments.  The rich young man replies that he has done that and wants to know what else he needs to do.  So Jesus tells him to sell all he has and follow him.  Well, that feels like a lot to give up/let go of for the young man.  He probably began to question how much he really wants eternal life?  Jesus turns to his disciples and, in my opinion is meaning to exagerate his point by saying, " . . . it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Well, sometimes it may seem more likely for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle (next to impossible) than it is to let go of controlling things, making things happen, or trying to fill the void of unworthiness through accomplishment and achievement, but it is not.  LOP guarantees that letting go of making things happen, and instead relaxing into the ease and flow of allowing what we want, will be more productive.  Productive as in bigger, better, and faster than what we were expecting through making things happen.

LOP means the willingness and belief in letting go is how the camel will fit through the eye of a needle .

An Untethered Soul Discussion -- Chapter One

Posted to Facebook February 21st.
What ideas/phrases stood out for you in this chapter?

My Answer:
Page 9 " . . .(the voice inside your head is) just trying to find a comfortable place to rest."
Examples:  when I am thinking about something while I am trying to sleep -- brain buzz; when I am trying to find a solution and all I can see/feel is the problem.

Page 10 "What commotion is my mind making about life?
Examples:  my Dad being moved into a nursing home; repairs that I want to do; how am I going to LOP with all that is scheduled for this year?

Page 11 "Narration makes you feel more comfortable with the world around you.  . . . it makes you feel as though things are more in your control."
Examples: rehearsing conversations I want to have with doctors, family, repair people (often from a more defensive stance than a win/win stance).

Page 12 "This mental manipulation of the outer experience allows you to buffer reality as it comes in."
Example:  I buffer what I am experiencing outside of me by interpreting it through my defensive/protective stance, and that reassures me that I am right, which feels better than interpreting that I may be wrong.

Page13 "If you decide not to narrate . . . you will feel more open and exposed (vulnerable)."
But, I will also feel more free, more ease, and more peace.  I have realized that trying to control things just creates/attracts more things to control.  I really do not want more things to control, I was just using control to try and feel better/buffer my perceptions of what is going on in the world around me.

What are your thoughts on these ideas, or others, in Chapter One?

A Dream Versus A Goal

Posted to Facebook February 26th.
My whole life I have felt challenged around the concept of setting goals.  Not only do I feel they don't really work for me, I don't like how they feel.  With that said, the idea of having a dream does feel good to me.  So, what is the difference?  It's the essence.

When I use the word goal the essence behind it for me is one of "I have to" or "I should".   The way I grew up was if I said I was going to do something, it was set in stone, and come hell or high water, I had to make good on it.  Goals often ended up feeling suffocating, limiting, controlling, burdensome, and exhausting for me.  On the other hand dreams have the feeling of creativity, spontaneity, adventure, freedom, and there is permission to believe in ME.

Goals are often accompanied by dictated specifics like deadlines, measurable quantities, known outcomes.
Dreams are more general and allow the opening to answers that I may not yet know.
Goals seem to easily lose their initial appeal and end up feeling like work.
Dreams continue to fly with a momentum of their own.
Goals are easily used to judge myself negatively ("I'm not there yet.").
Dreams increase my appreciation for the experience. ("I'm so 'lucky' to be doing this.")
Goals can end up feeling like I am forcing something to happen.
Dreams feel like I am along on a great ride.
Goals feel like they are something I need to micro manage.
Dreams are something where I get to keep playing with the big picture.

Goals versus dreams; they are only words.  What matters is the essence I attribute to them.  One set of essences is mediocre, one is LOP.

An "Untethered Soul" Discussion -- Introduction

Posted to Facebook February 14th.

"This above all: to thine own self be true. . ."  William Shakespeare

Michael asks the question on page two, "Are the many aspects of my being all equally part of my 'self,' or is there only one of me -- and if so, which, where, how, and why?"

My answer:  I believe there is one authentic me; that's what I refer to as 'who I really am' (WIRA).  As a child I can remember specific instances when I said to myself, "I just want to be me."  It was a gut feeling that there was a ME I was wanting to be, and I knew I wasn't.  But I didn't really know who that ME was, or how to be it.  In addition, I didn't seem to be able to catch or recognize when I wasn't being ME.  And, at that time, I never even considered the question of who it was that knew there was a difference between me and ME?  I have spent the last forty years looking for answers to those questions and learning how to be ME. 

Over time I have become better at identifying when I am being me (an image I present to others for protection/acceptance), and when I am being ME (WIRA).  Every moment of every day is about being WIRA as best as I know how -- that's what I refer to as LOP.

What has been your experience in regards to Michael's question?

"The Untethered Soul" -- Question One

What brought you to "The Untethered Soul"? What was happening in your life?  What were you wanting more of?  How did the book land in your lap?

My Answer:
I remember that for about a month before I found the book I had an intense feeling of wanting to be more open. I probably did not even know what that really meant for me, I just wanted to feel the opposite of justification and control and push (I had just finished a very busy contract).

I think I originally caught a snippet of Michael on one of Oprah's "Supper Soul Sunday's", and I just knew that I wanted to read the book.

As I look back now I can see how his words were a perfect match to my desire of wanting to understand/be more open. It seems like it has taken me farther than I expected, but I know that is not true. I asked, and was ready for, every morsel.

Now it's your turn (if you like -- or just listen)!

Go to Facebook: 'Living On Purpose With Sandi', for more discussion.

An "Untethered Soul" Discussion

As some of you know, a book I have really enjoyed this past year is "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer.  I have read through it a few times now and have been feeling like I am want to continue to digest it, but perhaps now in a new way.  I had invited anyone who was interested, to join in on a discussion group, however, that timing did not seem to work for people. 

So, I am inspired to move forward with thoughts, questions, and potential discussion via blog and Facebook.  Every once in a while I will post my thoughts and questions and highlights from one of the five parts of the book and you are welcome to join in if you are inspired.

My focus for the discussion is to:

-- take what we have heard Michael's words saying to us and evolve, digest, and practice them in our own lives;

-- help us remember who we really are;

-- build faith in who we know we really are;

-- find ways of expressing who we really are;

-- benefit from the momentum of co-creation; and

-- have fun

With Appreciation (for today's technology) and Anticipation (of digging into those pages once again),

Sandi

A Cocooning Weekend

Sometimes the thought runs through my head that I just want to have a cocooning weekend.  I think that desire is not so much about hunkering down on the couch with a blanket, good book, and a crackling fire (although, that will often do just fine), but about wanting some guilt, obligation, resistance, and 'should' free time. 

I believe my cocooning desire is less about actually cocooning and more about finding and fostering the essences of (perhaps read these slowly enough that you can feel them) peace, ease, freedom, fun, spontaneity, creativity, and relaxation.  And honestly, I could experience those essences in so many activities.

So I wish you all a cocooning weekend (whatever that means for you), and if a whole weekend doesn't seem possible then maybe a day, and if not a day maybe an hour.

Happy Groundhog Day!

The Sweet Spot

People sometimes talk about finding the 'sweet spot' of some activity.  And no, this is not about adding sugar to something.

Golfers may find the 'sweet spot' with their swing when they let go of everything they have learned and experienced, and allow the intuitive body to take over and find the perfect swing for that shot with effortless knowing.

A speaker may have a well crafted speech planned, each word selected, and then during the delivery they listen to a flash of intuition that leads to a saying, or a story, or a statement, that is felt as a ripple of knowing throughout the audience.

A jogger may find a rhythm where they feel they could go on forever.

I love it when I find the sweet spot cross country skiing.  It feels like the waxing. the conditions, and my energy level have all culminated at this perfect place where each glide is effortless and beautiful -- like I am flying.

'Sweet spots' may seem to be something that we only experience out-of-the-blue.  As if they only happen when we are not expecting them, that they sneak in through the back door and then we find ourselves immersed in their wonder.  However, I don't believe 'sweet spots' are meant to be an oddity in our life.  They may not be normal occurrences, but I do believe they are natural. 

Perhaps if we let go of what we have learned and experienced more often, listen to our flashes of intuition, and allow ourselves to find our rhythm, life would be more sweet.

LOP is living more of my life in the 'sweet spot'.

Horse Then Cart

There is the saying, "you are getting the cart before the horse," meaning we are doing things backwards.  We may get the cart before the horse because we think what we really want is in that cart, but we forget that the horse is the driving force, the fuel, the real focus, and what is in the cart naturally arrives because of the driving force of the horse.  When we put the cart before the horse we have no driving force and it ends up being very hard work getting anywhere.

So, it's not money that is suppose to be the horse (driving force), that's what is in the cart and will naturally come with the horse.  The horse is us being passionate about and enjoying what we are doing.
The weight loss is the cart; feeling healthy and energetic are the horse.
The 'perfect' mate is the cart; the ability to love and appreciate are the horse.
The university degree is the cart; the learning is the horse.
Success is the cart; having fun is the horse.
Convincing others of something is the cart; knowing what I believe is the horse.
Taking care of others is the cart; taking care of myself is the horse.
The all inclusive vacation is the cart; the ability to breathe, relax, and let go are the horse.
Having people over for dinner is the cart; having open and genuine relationships is the horse.
The winning of the medal is the cart; the knowing I can do it is the horse.
Our laws and rules are the cart; understanding each other is the horse.
The 'fame' is the cart; the being who I really am is the horse.

LOP is putting the horse before the cart.