The Benefit of a Knee-Jerk Reaction

They don't feel good, so what could be the benefit?  It gets my attention regarding something I really wanted to be paying attention to anyways.

Recently I had what I would call an intense knee-jerk reaction to an email I received.  Now this is not my first rodeo.  I have had plenty of knee-jerk reactions, and so you would think I would handle it smoothly.  Nope.  My immediate reaction was I wanted to blame/hold responsible the email's author for the way I felt.  And boy was I feeling it.  

But that's the good thing.  It really got my attention and when that happens I know I have a button, a hot spot, that I am wanting to let go.  Once I identified what was really going on for me, what it was pointing out to me, what I was believing about me and the other person, I realized I had unconsciously been feeling a low hum of those feelings for a while -- a program running in the background if you will.  And as I looked at it, I could see my part in it, I could see that it's tentacles were reaching out into many different areas of my life, and most importantly I got a real good dosage of clarity of what I wanted instead of continuing to carry/protect/be right about this button.  It was like WIRA was jumping up and down, waving it's arms, trying to get me to hear, "You are done with this.  Set it down.  Come this way."

Will I stumble over this belief again?  Very Likely.  
Will that be my last knee-jerk reaction?  No way!  
Could I have done all of this more gracefully?  Sure!  

So, maybe the next time I am in the midst of a knee-jerk reaction I could follow it with another knee-jerk reaction a little quicker.  I could remember that nothing wrong is going on, my guidance system is working perfectly, and then I can get on with clarifying what it is helping me to see and understand.

It took me over a week to get back to the upward spiral on this one (sometimes it has taken less, sometimes it has taken a lot longer), and as I sit here now my heart is full of appreciation.  The payoff is an even better view from the upward spiral, and I know it was time for me to hear that one and move on. 

LOP is paying attention to what is getting my attention.

Why I LOP

Posted to Facebook February 8th, 2023

The reason I go on and on about practicing LOP is because it saved my life.  I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, but that is how it feels.  Forty some years ago I felt I was suffocating to death because, as I now understand it, I had suppressed who I really was so deeply I couldn't breath.  I now see how if we sup-press who we really are (WWRA) long enough, we become de-pressed.

For many years I hid this whole story because it seemed that what was real for me was not believable for anyone else.  At first I didn't even think it was real because I was believing others more than me.  Then I started seeing pieces of a puzzle that felt real for me.  I felt desires that I knew were truly mine, that I had kept hidden away.  I saw pieces of who I really was.  But I was still too worried people would just brush it off as more of that stuff from that girl who had "problems".  

After a lot of time, a lot of questions, a lot of learning, a lot of practice, and a lot of baby steps in trusting ME, I find myself spending more and more time on this thing I call the upward spiral.  And for anyone who experiences deep downward spirals I wish I could just wrap you up in a dosage of the upward spiral so that you too could know what is possible, however, I know that's not the way it works, and it would rob you of the exact thing you are looking for  -- WYRA.  So instead, here I stand, doing my best to remember WIRA, so that when I am with you I can see WYRA, which I hope will help you believe in WYRA, and then when you are with others you will be able to see WTRA . . . and so on.  

Practicing the upward spiral is full of ups and downs, questions and answers, frustrations and "Ahhas." I speak of it not because I have it all figured out, but instead so that these kinds of conversations can be more common.  I know we have all had snippets of the beauty that is possible, but at times they can be challenging to hang on to.  And even though this is completely an inside job, I know it is easier to believe in the upward spiral when there are those outside of us that believe too.

LOP, because nothing less will do.

Hallelujah from Leonard Cohen

Posted to Facebook Jan 19th, 2023

I recently watched the biography of Leonard Cohen's song "Hallelujah".  There were many things in it I found interesting like: how many people seem to connect with the song; that it took Leonard six years to write it: that there are probably over 100 different verses for it in his notebooks; and how the song took on a life of it's own, hence the version you are probably most familiar with is not the one Leonard performed, but the one done by John Cale (think Shrek).

But perhaps what was most interesting, for me, was what I came to understand is the meaning of it.  Although there has always been a somewhat dark/somber tone to it for me (especially Leonard's version), it still gives me goosebumps.  Why is that?  What I got from the documentary is the song is saying that no matter how bad things get, no matter how hard things may seem, there is always a Hallelujah.  
No matter what, there is always an upward spiral.

LOP.  Hallelujah!

Thank you for being you Leonard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQK4YfiPj1Q
Rufus Wainwright Live at the Fillmore

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcOQSk_cMO0 
k.d. lang at 2010 Vancouver Olympics (for Bear)

Being In My Now

Recently I have caught myself experiencing a feeling of pushing and rushing through my day, and I have also recognized how much it has been a prevalent underlying belief/emotion in my life. When I am pushing and rushing I feel like I am missing my now (I am not really, my now is just full of the experience of pushing and rushing). These realizations led me to wanting to be more present in my moments throughout my days -- it just feels better. 

So that brought up the question, what is 'being present' really about?  For me, being present in more of my moments is about how much am I allowing Who I Really Am (WIRA) in that moment (of course that requires me to have a sense of WIRA).  It's about how much am I allowing my desires, my priorities, all that I love, all of my skills, all of  the fun of moving forward, all of my creativity to join me in that moment?  There is an aliveness, a vitality, a beauty, a magic to life when I am honestly bringing all those truths of WIRA to a moment. 

If I practice allowing WIRA in my moments then it doesn't matter what the moment is, it is about how I am 'being' in that moment.  That can really increase the awesomeness of just a 'regular' day, and I find I am delightfully surprised what can 'appear' in those moments.

LOP is allowing myself to genuinely, confidently, and eagerly show up as Me . . . right now.

No Obligation Please

Being a friend, I fear, has gone astray.
From one who loves, to one who's afraid.
And so I ask that you honor us both.
The only gift for me . . . no obligation please.

No saying yes when you really mean no.
No inviting me along when you'd rather be alone.
No gifts required, only ones from the heart.
No sharing the same likes, for fear of being apart.
No changing, 

No agreeing, 

No yessing, 

No pleasing.
Our choices and preferences I know will not match.
But as we share who we are, an expression from the heart,
Neither of us lesser will be, so no obligation please.

You need not be different than the joy that is you.
And I would actually feel it a shame,

If I left this life without really knowing,
The light that has been given your name.

The View from the Upward Spiral is Different than from the Downward Spiral

I love the view from the upward spiral.  I love seeing the unexpected, the possibilities and feeling the fun, and I have come to recognize how different it is from the view from the downward spiral.  The difference is not because our actual eyes are different, but because the interpretation of what the eyes are seeing is different.  We have access to a whole different collection of synapses from a perspective of appreciation than from fault finding.

How can that be?  Well  Beau Lotto, a professor of neuroscience, shares in his book "Deviate" that our physical eyes make up about 10% of what we 'see'.  The other 90% is our personal interpretation of what the eyes are seeing.  That's how you can have one person loving and one person hating the same movie.  Or, how you can have two totally different accounts of the same situation.

Why would I care about that?  Well, if 90% of my experience of life is based on interpretation I have some wiggle room, some flexibility, some choices and options that I can consider.  It means there are some answers and possibilities out there that I may not be currently seeing because of my interpretation of something.  It means that there is an upward spiral view that I can find.

Once again, LOP is less about what is right and wrong and more about what do I want to be right about?

LOP is loving the view through the eyes of appreciation.

"I Can See Clearly Now."

Posted to Facebook January 17th, 2023

"I Can See Clearly Now" -- Johnny Nash  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FscIgtDJFXg 

I promise you, on the other side of whatever clouds might be in your life right now, there is a bright sunshiny day. 

Love the Goosebumps

Goosebumps are an indicator of being on the upward spiral -- me being in agreement with WIRA.

LOP is lovin' them goosebumps.

Unconditional Love

I do my best to choose unconditional love in my daily moments not for others, although my relationships benefit enormously when I do, but for me and my peace.  Because . . . Unconditional Love = Freedom.

Living On Purpose (LOP) is remembering I am free.

Thoreau Living On Purpose at Walden Pond

As I read the words of Thoreau in his book Walden; or, Life in the Woods, I am filled with the knowing that:  Our support is implicit; Our understanding inevitable; Our assistance eternal; and
Our journey simple.

As others express Who They Really Are it is easier for each of us to believe in Who We Really Are.

LOP is the path untravelled.