Here are some questions that you could try when you catch yourself on a downward sprial.
We all want to feel good and right now I do not feel good. What's bothering me?
(My boss has implied I am not doing a good enough job.)
What am I believing about what's bothering me?
(That I am not good enough. I do not have value. I might loose my job. I don't know what I am doing.)
What is the Truth that 'Who I Really Am' knows about what is bothering me?
(My value and good 'enoughness' is never in question. If this job disappears it is because I am ready for a different one. Having questions and not knowing all the answers is the juice of life. Nothing is going wrong here. Who I Really am is really wanting to get my attention.)
Which do I choose to believe?
(That is up to me.)
Living On Purpose (LOP) is remembering, believing in, and expressing who we really are. This blog is the sharing of the moment by moment experience of practicing Living On Purpose . . . because we all want to feel good.
Sunday, 26 February 2012
A Lifetime of Happy
Posted to FaceBook Feb. 26th.
Some spend a lifetime looking for that which will make them happy.
Some spend a lifetime just being happy.
Some spend a lifetime looking for that which will make them happy.
Some spend a lifetime just being happy.
"I Create My Own Reality"
Posted to FaceBook Mar. 3rd
There are a number of sources to the quote, "I create my own reality," and there are even more understandings as to what that could mean.
I use to think that it meant I have to make (create) a good result (reality) in my life in order to feel good. I now realize, for me, it means I get to choose (create) how I want to perceive and feel about my results (reality) in life.
Interestingly enough, when I choose (create) how I want to perceive and feel about my results (reality), more results (reality) that feel like what I have choosen (created) seem to show up.
There are a number of sources to the quote, "I create my own reality," and there are even more understandings as to what that could mean.
I use to think that it meant I have to make (create) a good result (reality) in my life in order to feel good. I now realize, for me, it means I get to choose (create) how I want to perceive and feel about my results (reality) in life.
Interestingly enough, when I choose (create) how I want to perceive and feel about my results (reality), more results (reality) that feel like what I have choosen (created) seem to show up.
Our Contribution Is Being WWRA
Posted to FaceBook Mar. 5th
There are sayings like, "Words don't teach," "who you are is so loud I can't hear what you are saying," "actions speak louder than words," "lead by example," and "be the change you want to see." These seem to say that who I am being in the world is what matters most. It's not about what I say but about how I am being as I say it. It is not about what I am doing, but who I am being as I am doing it. Two examples of people contributing to my life because of who they really are, are my parents.
My years of depression were, I am sure, ones of huge struggle for my mother. I cannot imagine all that she was challenged with as she watched her daughter slide into the depths of the downward spiral. She did so much during that time trying to help. She tried to cheer me up. She tried to protect me from things that she thought might make matters worse. She took me to doctor appointment after doctor appointment trying to find someone/thing that would help. She got me to eat when I didn't want to, she cleaned up after my destructive bursts of rage, and she tried to reduce any stress I might have had. She encouraged me, chauffeured me, and gave me space when I could not handle anything more. But during those years, her biggest contribution, was not about what she said or did. Her biggest contribution was because of who she really is. Her biggest contribution was that she was able to remembered who her daughter really was even when there seemed to be no evidence of that part of me. She continued to know that I was not the depression I had been diagnosed with. She held the light of knowing who I really was until I could find it again and carry it myself. Her biggest contribution to me is because of who she really is -- a woman who believes.
My father has always done his utmost to do the right thing in life. He abides by our laws and rules, has always taken care of his family, and has contributed at his church his whole life. He spent a career trying to create the best working environment for those he managed, and do a good job at that which was his responsibility. He took his family on holidays to see and experience the world. He has always stood up for those less fortunate. He never passes a dog without giving it a pet. He spent hours with us as kids playing miniature golf, going for walks in the ravine, and swimming in the pool on holidays. But all those things he worked so hard to be and do, are not his biggest contribution to me. His biggest contribution is about who he really is. My dad has taught me to think and how to make up my own mind. He has taught me how to have an opinion (just ask my sister and I, we will tell you). Family discussions could become deep and heated, and if you were going to be a part of them, you had to know where you stood. My dad's contribution did not end up being what I should think (which was maybe what he was trying to impart), but how to figure out what I believed, and why. His biggest contribution to me is because of who he really is -- a man who has figured out his truth.
Who we really are speaks so loud it surpasses all that we say and do. So surrender to who you really are -- it is your biggest contribution.
There are sayings like, "Words don't teach," "who you are is so loud I can't hear what you are saying," "actions speak louder than words," "lead by example," and "be the change you want to see." These seem to say that who I am being in the world is what matters most. It's not about what I say but about how I am being as I say it. It is not about what I am doing, but who I am being as I am doing it. Two examples of people contributing to my life because of who they really are, are my parents.
My years of depression were, I am sure, ones of huge struggle for my mother. I cannot imagine all that she was challenged with as she watched her daughter slide into the depths of the downward spiral. She did so much during that time trying to help. She tried to cheer me up. She tried to protect me from things that she thought might make matters worse. She took me to doctor appointment after doctor appointment trying to find someone/thing that would help. She got me to eat when I didn't want to, she cleaned up after my destructive bursts of rage, and she tried to reduce any stress I might have had. She encouraged me, chauffeured me, and gave me space when I could not handle anything more. But during those years, her biggest contribution, was not about what she said or did. Her biggest contribution was because of who she really is. Her biggest contribution was that she was able to remembered who her daughter really was even when there seemed to be no evidence of that part of me. She continued to know that I was not the depression I had been diagnosed with. She held the light of knowing who I really was until I could find it again and carry it myself. Her biggest contribution to me is because of who she really is -- a woman who believes.
My father has always done his utmost to do the right thing in life. He abides by our laws and rules, has always taken care of his family, and has contributed at his church his whole life. He spent a career trying to create the best working environment for those he managed, and do a good job at that which was his responsibility. He took his family on holidays to see and experience the world. He has always stood up for those less fortunate. He never passes a dog without giving it a pet. He spent hours with us as kids playing miniature golf, going for walks in the ravine, and swimming in the pool on holidays. But all those things he worked so hard to be and do, are not his biggest contribution to me. His biggest contribution is about who he really is. My dad has taught me to think and how to make up my own mind. He has taught me how to have an opinion (just ask my sister and I, we will tell you). Family discussions could become deep and heated, and if you were going to be a part of them, you had to know where you stood. My dad's contribution did not end up being what I should think (which was maybe what he was trying to impart), but how to figure out what I believed, and why. His biggest contribution to me is because of who he really is -- a man who has figured out his truth.
Who we really are speaks so loud it surpasses all that we say and do. So surrender to who you really are -- it is your biggest contribution.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
Letting Go of Control
Growing up in, and being a person who has leaned towards controlling ways of being, I can completely understand how we as a species have got to this point in our world of trying to control everything. We are more controlled now than we have probably ever been, and I believe we have done this from a genuine underlying belief that we are making things better. And, I am not saying that all the control we have created through our laws and legislation and morals hasn't been just fine in the big picture of our evolutionary process -- but maybe we are ready for more.
I once heard it said that if we found the "missing link" in the human evolutionary process all we would have done is discovered two more gaps to fill, on either side of that link, to connect the whole chain. And I am thinking that is maybe what we are now tripping over in our western world of rules. Every time we make a rule have we just then created two gaps on either side of that rule that will then require another connecting rule to complete the book of rules on how we should be? The ripple effect, of creating two additional gaps for every one gap we are trying to close, seems to be turning into tsunamis proportions.
So, if we do not try and create rules and regulations, laws and legislation, about every possible human scenario, how does one know how to be in the world? Well, maybe we are ready to listen more to the inner voice, versus the outer voice? Maybe our next step is about trusting each other more? Maybe if we believed in ourselves more, it would be easier to believe in each other? Maybe we are ready for the goal to be more about our joy than the completed to do list? Maybe we are ready to see more of the 'geniusness' in each other? Maybe one day the generations to follow will marvel at how hard we worked at trying to do the right thing, when they just take for granted that they know how to be in the world?
Maybe.
I once heard it said that if we found the "missing link" in the human evolutionary process all we would have done is discovered two more gaps to fill, on either side of that link, to connect the whole chain. And I am thinking that is maybe what we are now tripping over in our western world of rules. Every time we make a rule have we just then created two gaps on either side of that rule that will then require another connecting rule to complete the book of rules on how we should be? The ripple effect, of creating two additional gaps for every one gap we are trying to close, seems to be turning into tsunamis proportions.
So, if we do not try and create rules and regulations, laws and legislation, about every possible human scenario, how does one know how to be in the world? Well, maybe we are ready to listen more to the inner voice, versus the outer voice? Maybe our next step is about trusting each other more? Maybe if we believed in ourselves more, it would be easier to believe in each other? Maybe we are ready for the goal to be more about our joy than the completed to do list? Maybe we are ready to see more of the 'geniusness' in each other? Maybe one day the generations to follow will marvel at how hard we worked at trying to do the right thing, when they just take for granted that they know how to be in the world?
Maybe.
It's All About the Essence
LOP, and many other recipes for living, operate from the belief that everything we want in life is because of how we believe we will feel in having something, and therefore, it is really the emotional experience/ essence we are after.
The other day I was working on a project and was not feeling very clear or confident about how I was going to handle it, or how to move forward. So, instead of clear and confident I was feeling confused and hesitant. After a day of confusion and hesitancy building up, I felt yucky.
I knew that there was no way I was going to create clarity and confidence from a place of confusion and hesitancy. Somehow, I was going to need to genuinely feel clear and confident. Then the thought came, "Well you know, I am clear and confident that in this moment I don't yet know my answers, and that's O.K." Hmmm, that was interesting. That felt better.
It was the clarity and confidence I was really after. It apparently did not matter about what I was clear and confident. Strangely enough, being clear and confident that I was not yet clear and confident, but that I would be, was the beginning of my answer. I was not giving up, or believing I would not find my answers, but I was stopping the downward spiral and once again headed in the direction of where my answers would be. Three days later I was moving forward with the project, clearer and more confident.
LOP is all about the essence I am experiencing, and not my reason for experiencing it.
The other day I was working on a project and was not feeling very clear or confident about how I was going to handle it, or how to move forward. So, instead of clear and confident I was feeling confused and hesitant. After a day of confusion and hesitancy building up, I felt yucky.
I knew that there was no way I was going to create clarity and confidence from a place of confusion and hesitancy. Somehow, I was going to need to genuinely feel clear and confident. Then the thought came, "Well you know, I am clear and confident that in this moment I don't yet know my answers, and that's O.K." Hmmm, that was interesting. That felt better.
It was the clarity and confidence I was really after. It apparently did not matter about what I was clear and confident. Strangely enough, being clear and confident that I was not yet clear and confident, but that I would be, was the beginning of my answer. I was not giving up, or believing I would not find my answers, but I was stopping the downward spiral and once again headed in the direction of where my answers would be. Three days later I was moving forward with the project, clearer and more confident.
LOP is all about the essence I am experiencing, and not my reason for experiencing it.
Monday, 20 February 2012
Paint Everyday
Posted to FaceBook Feb. 25th.
I recently saw Tony Bennett interviewed, and although we know him for his unmistakable crooning, he is an avid painter as well. During this interview which outlined the longevity of his singing career, he shared how he paints everyday. He loves to do it, it is an expression of who he really is.
Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier, an accountant in the 1700s, who contributed to our understanding of mass, worked his "stupendously boring accountancy work" six days a week (David Bodanis, E=MC2), while only spending an hour or two in the morning, and one full day each week working on that which he is now known and remembered.
These two examples reminded me how much I love expressing WIRA. They reminded me that there are a few activities/subjects/actions that I love to do, that I know are pure expressions of WIRA, and how important it is to me to be doing them everyday. These activities are the song I came here to sing. The truth I came to explore. The knowing I cannot not give voice to. The more I acknowledge, recognize, and honor the expression of WIRA the more inspirations I have about WIRA. Being WIRA begets more specifics about WIRA.
LOP is 'painting everyday'. What are those things you just love to do? What are those songs/video games/scientific measurements that you are inspired to explore? And are you ready to believe in them by spending time with them 'everyday'?
I recently saw Tony Bennett interviewed, and although we know him for his unmistakable crooning, he is an avid painter as well. During this interview which outlined the longevity of his singing career, he shared how he paints everyday. He loves to do it, it is an expression of who he really is.
Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier, an accountant in the 1700s, who contributed to our understanding of mass, worked his "stupendously boring accountancy work" six days a week (David Bodanis, E=MC2), while only spending an hour or two in the morning, and one full day each week working on that which he is now known and remembered.
These two examples reminded me how much I love expressing WIRA. They reminded me that there are a few activities/subjects/actions that I love to do, that I know are pure expressions of WIRA, and how important it is to me to be doing them everyday. These activities are the song I came here to sing. The truth I came to explore. The knowing I cannot not give voice to. The more I acknowledge, recognize, and honor the expression of WIRA the more inspirations I have about WIRA. Being WIRA begets more specifics about WIRA.
LOP is 'painting everyday'. What are those things you just love to do? What are those songs/video games/scientific measurements that you are inspired to explore? And are you ready to believe in them by spending time with them 'everyday'?
Seeing the Good
Being able to see the good in others is not about others being a certain way for our sake. Seeing the good in others is not what we do for others (although they most likely will feel the benefit of it.) Seeing the good in others is not about being a door mat, gullible, or in denial. Seeing the good in others is what we do for ourselves so that we can be all that we were born to be -- who we really are (WWRA).
Seeing the good in others is being focused instead of sloppy with my thoughts. Seeing the good in others is a skill, not necessarily what will be the easiest. Seeing the good in others is practice for seeing the good in me. Seeing the good in others develops the synapses in my brain to be better able to experience and see even more good. Seeing the good in others creates a more realistic and balanced perception of the world. Seeing the good in others feels good. Seeing the good in others, creates good. Seeing the good in others increases the opportunities of others seeing the good too. Seeing the good is fun. Seeing the good is inspiring and energizing and exciting. Seeing the good connects me with WIRA. Seeing the good is WIRA. Seeing the good is LOP.
Seeing the good in others is being focused instead of sloppy with my thoughts. Seeing the good in others is a skill, not necessarily what will be the easiest. Seeing the good in others is practice for seeing the good in me. Seeing the good in others develops the synapses in my brain to be better able to experience and see even more good. Seeing the good in others creates a more realistic and balanced perception of the world. Seeing the good in others feels good. Seeing the good in others, creates good. Seeing the good in others increases the opportunities of others seeing the good too. Seeing the good is fun. Seeing the good is inspiring and energizing and exciting. Seeing the good connects me with WIRA. Seeing the good is WIRA. Seeing the good is LOP.
Get Over It?
Posted to FaceBook Feb. 22
We need to get over the feeling we need to get over something (be different than who/how we are), because the feeling we need to get over something keeps us in a place of needing to get over something. But then, if I need to get over the feeling I need to get over something, I will just be remaining in the place of needing to get over something.
If I am LOP to get over 'there', then I am not LOP. If I think I need to be different, do something, change something, fix something, be better at something, improve on something, justify something so that I can LOP, I am not LOP.
So, maybe, there is nothing to get over? Maybe nothing needs to be different than who or how I am right this second? Maybe this is exactly where I am wanting to be in this moment? Maybe there is so much about this moment, and its perfection, that I am not even able to fathom it all? Maybe in this moment, when I finally know there is nothing to get over, and I can feel the perfection that lies in the previously judged imperfection, I will realize I am over it because there was nothing to be over.
We need to get over the feeling we need to get over something (be different than who/how we are), because the feeling we need to get over something keeps us in a place of needing to get over something. But then, if I need to get over the feeling I need to get over something, I will just be remaining in the place of needing to get over something.
If I am LOP to get over 'there', then I am not LOP. If I think I need to be different, do something, change something, fix something, be better at something, improve on something, justify something so that I can LOP, I am not LOP.
So, maybe, there is nothing to get over? Maybe nothing needs to be different than who or how I am right this second? Maybe this is exactly where I am wanting to be in this moment? Maybe there is so much about this moment, and its perfection, that I am not even able to fathom it all? Maybe in this moment, when I finally know there is nothing to get over, and I can feel the perfection that lies in the previously judged imperfection, I will realize I am over it because there was nothing to be over.
"There's More To Life . . .
Posted to FaceBook Feb. 20th
. . . than economic success," is what the newspaper article was titled. I was visiting family and I decided to do something I rarely do -- look through a newspaper. The subtitle on this article was, "Time to shift focus from the economy to whether we're happy."
I was excited to see that such an article had found its way into a daily newspaper. (Caveat: It could very well be there are a lot of LOP slanted articles in newspapers these days, and I just don't know it because I am not reading them.) It reminded me of how we so often put, as the Abraham-Hicks materials explains to us, the cart before the horse. Meaning we have things backwards.
We tend to think that if we have a healthy gross domestic product we will be happy, when actually, when we are happy we will have a healthy gross domestic product.
We think if someone will just act the way we want them to then we will be able to appreciate who they are, when actually, when we appreciate who someone is they act just perfectly.
We think that if we could just find our answer about something we would feel at peace, when actually, when we are peaceful we will find our answer.
We believe how others perceive us is who we are, when actually, when we be Who We Really Are others will be able to see us.
We so much want things to be a certain way so that we can enjoy life, when actually, if we enjoy life things just seem to unfold in a certain way.
We want to be right because then we think we will be happy, when actually, being happy is enough 'right' all in itself.
We want the new car, job, health, relationship, home, etc. so that we can be happy and feel successfull, when actually, when I feel happy and successful, the whole process of finding a new car, obtaining a job, creating better health, developing a relationship, designing a home, becomes the never ending unfolding of happiness and success.
I may want people and situations to act a certain way so I can trust them, when actually, when I trust that all is well, no matter how they act, everything already is O.K.
We believe and want our outside world to determine our inside world, when actually, our inside world determines our experience of the outside world.
Most people would not put the cart in front of the horse and expect it to go. LOP is about not expecting our productivity (nationally or personally) to make us happy. LOP is about what we produce from happiness.
. . . than economic success," is what the newspaper article was titled. I was visiting family and I decided to do something I rarely do -- look through a newspaper. The subtitle on this article was, "Time to shift focus from the economy to whether we're happy."
I was excited to see that such an article had found its way into a daily newspaper. (Caveat: It could very well be there are a lot of LOP slanted articles in newspapers these days, and I just don't know it because I am not reading them.) It reminded me of how we so often put, as the Abraham-Hicks materials explains to us, the cart before the horse. Meaning we have things backwards.
We tend to think that if we have a healthy gross domestic product we will be happy, when actually, when we are happy we will have a healthy gross domestic product.
We think if someone will just act the way we want them to then we will be able to appreciate who they are, when actually, when we appreciate who someone is they act just perfectly.
We think that if we could just find our answer about something we would feel at peace, when actually, when we are peaceful we will find our answer.
We believe how others perceive us is who we are, when actually, when we be Who We Really Are others will be able to see us.
We so much want things to be a certain way so that we can enjoy life, when actually, if we enjoy life things just seem to unfold in a certain way.
We want to be right because then we think we will be happy, when actually, being happy is enough 'right' all in itself.
We want the new car, job, health, relationship, home, etc. so that we can be happy and feel successfull, when actually, when I feel happy and successful, the whole process of finding a new car, obtaining a job, creating better health, developing a relationship, designing a home, becomes the never ending unfolding of happiness and success.
I may want people and situations to act a certain way so I can trust them, when actually, when I trust that all is well, no matter how they act, everything already is O.K.
We believe and want our outside world to determine our inside world, when actually, our inside world determines our experience of the outside world.
Most people would not put the cart in front of the horse and expect it to go. LOP is about not expecting our productivity (nationally or personally) to make us happy. LOP is about what we produce from happiness.
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