Last night my bank processed some transactions incorrectly. The person that I got when I phoned for assistance was giving me answers that were not only not helpful, but after asking her to explain it three times to me, the explanation that it was another bank's fault made no sense.
I got off the phone frustrated (that is saying it nicely). I was frustrated because the situation was not rectified, and I had really expected that they would agree it was their mistake -- it seemed obvious to me. But perhaps most importantly, I was frustrated because I didn't understand the answer I was being given, and now I was confused and doubting myself.
Frustration, anger, confusion, lack of confidence, guilt can be deafening when trying to hear who you really are and what feels like the most inspired action. From a confused and doubting place I couldn't decide if I wanted to phone the bank back and keep pushing for an answer that made sense, or cool off, calmly follow the advice of my bank, and call the other bank in the morning. Of course I couldn't hear my answer, I was confused and doubting! One action felt like pushing and controlling, the other felt like I was a door mat. Neither of those are LOP.
My lucky husband walked in right at the end of that call. I explained to him what had happened, and him agreeing with my interpretation of the circumstances built my confidence -- I was not stupid or missing something. That felt better. From that little bit better feeling place I then remembered the chapter, "Someone Will Say Yes," in the Relax Into Wealth, Alan Cohen book. He shares an example where he kept calling and calling until he got the answer he wanted. That idea felt even better. I had elevated myself to a place where I now had a clearer question to ask.
With the assistance of my husband and Alan I regained confidence and clarity. From that new place I could then begin to feel what was most in alignment in that moment. I picked up the phone, I got someone different, all is well.
It was not a about trying to decide which action was the right action, it was about taking action from a place of confidence and clarity, who I really am.
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